Dear Max:

Wow! It has been such a huge month for you. I know I have said that on other months but this month has really been about your self esteem and your personality. You have stepped out from behind the door and you are saying: THIS IS ME WORLD! I feel like you are such a big boy now. 

For 19 months you have been quiet around strangers or not comfortable in situations but now it is different. At music and lIttle Gym, you are one of the first kids to go up to the teacher and participate. You are so proud of yourself and you make this smirk because you are so happy and shy at the same time. You are such a humble little man. 

You are still such a sweet and sensitive guy. No matter how much you get hit or your hair pulled, you do not push or pull back. You just look at the kid like they are crazy and then you look at me. I think Esther the Super Pug has helped you to learn how to treat people and animals.

This month you are also putting your face in the water in the tub and you kick your legs as well. You love the water and we swim at the toddler pool as well as your little friends Tyler’s pool down the street.

You now laugh at everything. You watch TV and movies and laugh at the funny parts. You also laugh at yourself quite often or if Daddy does something funny. I see your personality come through more and more. You are a very special kid.

Still your hat is your favorite clothing. You refuse to go out in the sun  without it and now you own about 4 hats but your favorite hat in the Philadelphia Zoo hat. You also enjoy wearing sun glasses. It must be your sensitive green eyes. You are adorable and I could just eat you up daily..oh but wait I do.

You are the love of my life and you always will be. I am so honored to be your mother and I am so lucky because you are such an angel. I will always think of that first night alone with you and how you slept in my arms in the hospital. It was love at first sight. Thanks Maxie!!

This little one will be named Samantha Jane-or at least that is what we have decided as of today. We will probably call her Sam.

I was very nervous about the scan and Scott asked me why I did not say anything to him but my hubby, as great as he is at listening, would have just tried to solve the problem and say something like…WHY WOULD YOU BE NERVOUS? EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE. Then I would have been pissed off so I just did not say anything to him but I was nervous. I just wanted to find out that everything was good so far and it was. We are very fortunate.

I am excited to decorate a room with pink and buy adorable outfits but I have to admit that I know how to raise a boy and so there is a part of me that is scared. But I also feel that no matter what-I would not really parent any differently. I am very sweet with max but also rough and I do not think I would be much different. That is just who I am.

Anyway, we are off to the beach for a week tomorrow am and I have decided not to bring my laptop. We are going to really step back from the computer for this week. I am so excited. So I will chat with you guys when we get back.

Another reason for doing this, is that most of the playgrounds have the swing sets and play stuff in the middle of the sun all day. We are lucky that half of our yard is in the shade by mid day. I think it is such a wonderful idea and I think Max will just have so much fun. Then I do not have to worry as much about taking Max to run and run and run while tending to and breast feeding a new little one. Now of course we will go out but those late days after nap are the hardest, when they are kind of still tired but wide awake. So I am picking out a swing set after we return home from the beach. I am so excited. Now please send prayers for Christy to get a swing set too!!

Max has been going to sleep at 8:30 pm every night. We start bath at 7:45 pm and then we do a massage for a few minutes, read some books and rock in the rocking chair and then finish his bottle and then go to sleep. It is so nice. I am loving it and I also see that Max is so much better rested. So yes, to the point, Max is waking up between 5 am and 5:45 am and then I go in and sleep in his bed till 6:30/7 am. I am confident that Max will learn how to sleep by the next baby. I am feeling so much better now that I am sleeping too. Horray!!

I also want to say that is feels great that we chose to do the sleep thing in a way that worked for us. Max has not been back in our bed since I started the transition to his room. I think it would be too confusing for him. It has been about a 2 month process and I am so happy for Max and well I am happy for me too. I did a very loving method with Max and his sleep issues. Keep in mind that I am not saying that other methods are not loving but this is what felt like love for us.

I am not sure if I will do anything different with the next one. I think it will be pretty much the same and I am sure it will all work out. What did you do with your child?

The thing that pissed me off the most was that he did not even ask us if we were ok. He was one of those spoiled brats driving a car that his parents bought for him. Hey-my parents bought me a car too but I was not a brat. He had such attitude that I picked up the cell phone and called 911. They arrived and the brat said that bumped him with my car. LIAR! Then the cop asked me and I told his the whole truth and he said…WELL THAT WOULD EXPLAIN THE DENT ON HIS REAR DOOR AND THE DENT ON MY FRONT LEFT BUMPER. AAAHHHH thank goodness for the cops. Her then cited the brat for a turn from a wrong lane. HAHA Brat!

But the most important thing is that I am fine and Max is fine. I looked back to see if Max was ok and he was still eating his “Rice Ems” as if nothing had happened. Thank you Britax car seats!!

It just all pisses me off. I guess because it is such a pain in the ass and I also was just shaken up by the whole thing. I went and bought two pairs of new sunglasses and got a manicure and pedicure and then all was fine. I get shopping therapy and relaxation does actually work.

I guess Max is really lucky that he has such great hair. I did not cut his hair for the first 7 months but it was so long and crazy that we had no choice. He has had about 6 haircuts since then and still his hair grows and grows and grows. He has a combination between my curly locks and his fathers hair, which is kind if curly but can be combed straight. 

Luckily we have this col place called Kids Cuts and they have a slide and dvd for the kids and it is a lot of fun and distraction but still when the women gets near Max’s ears well then it is all over. I wish there was a better way to ease the mind of your kid during these times but if somebody was coming at me with scissors and I did not know them, well I guess I would scream too. At least he looks cute at the end of the day.

And yes we still allow the binky. I guess we will not take it away either till he gives it up or after the next baby. He loves his binky so much. We do not give the binky when we go out but he is allowed at home and in the car. Some kids have blankies, he has a binky. Either way, I am sure we will be fine. I think too many people make rules about when kids should not have things that make them feel secure. I am sure it will all balance out. I do not think he will graduate school with his binky in his mouth. lol

The teacher spoke about kids learning self esteem by learning to do stuff on their own and I go to see Max doing it on his own. But the greatest compliment came from the teacher, Mr. Jay. He came up to me and told me that I have done an amazing job raising Max. he told me that Max;s self esteem is amazing for an 18 1/2 month old kid. He said that I must have allowed him to be independent a lot and not do things for him. I guess Mr. jay did not count the bruises on his body and head for proof but regardless, it was one of the nicest things that have been said to me. I love the LIttle Gym program because they do a lot of work around self esteem and it is so important to me. 

Max made me feel like as proud momma, as always. Thanks Max!!

Not the best picture of me but I thought I had to post the belly shot now that things are progressing. I feel like one day my belly was pretty small and the next day it just popped. I am still small because luckily I carry really well but for me, having to move the shopping cart at the grocery store-to reach and get the groceries is a pain in the ass. I did gain back the 4 pounds that I had lost from being sick. I guess I cannot stay that small during pregnancy-DAMN. I wanted to pull weeds tonight in the yard and garden and it actually hurt to squat and pull weeds. Damn the big belly but thank goodness that little baby is doing well and getting bigger. 

Anyway, I have gained 14 pounds to date and I actually feel pretty good about that. I am still feeling pretty cute in my clothes and I feel good when I put on a suit so I guess it is isn’t that bad. I would love to be under 40 pounds this time around but whatever will happen will happen and I will lose it just like last time.

Max has been hugging my tummy a lot and kissing my tummy. It is adorable. Sometimes I just want to eat him up because I love him so much.

Well I am off to read all of your blogs and then watch some crappy TV.

Max puked and puked and puked; About 22 times and luckily he kept drinking his bottle and so I did not have to worry about dehydration. I only puked 4 times in one day and then each night the acid reflux has been so bad that I cannot keep my food down either. UGH. It was the kind of sickness that we could not even keep water down. I lost 4 pounds and I know that I am the one suffering and not the baby inside of me. I am sure once my stomach heals then the food will stay down but I am so hungry.

I could not believe how bad we felt but I hear there is a nasty virus going around. There is a local hospital nearby and so many people entered the ER with vomiting and well it coming out the other end too.

There was of course a few times that Max and I bonded. I was throwing up in the toilet..he saw me and he threw up on the floor. Oh these are the memories that I will never forget. Great story though.