Let’s start with hanging with other moms. First off, I want to say thank you for so many comments and such good advice. I guess I just needed to know that what I was feeling was totally normal and that we all have some type of worry when it comes to being a mom. And thank you to my fellow blogger, Daddy Greg, for making such a great comment from the other point of view. Bottom line is that being a mom means giving love as Christy from Cakerwakers said. Thanks to Kellan-mom of 4!! Thanks to Melanie, Jessa, Em and Shannon. It means a lot to have friends out there that I can share my intimate thought with and feel connected and clear.

As for hanging with moms in person, I had a play group today and hung out with 6 other moms. It was great. I was so relaxed while usually I feel tense and stressed. I guess for so long I have compared myself to other moms and made up in my head that they are better at being a mom etc. All that chitter chatter in my head. So today, I just showed up as me and enjoyed myself. I also realized that it is important for me to hang with other moms (none of my friends have babies) and share my fears because you know what?? THEY HAVE THEM TOO! WOW!!

Now for the really good part-it is official-I ended my job on Monday and I am offically just at school for Reiki and home with Max. I already feel the stress of my job melting away. Why didn’t I do this earlier? Well the time was not right for me. Life happens. And it all is neccessary.

I think we found Stan a new home with this really wonderful couple who lives in town but it probably moving to a farm in the Midwest. The husband is working for a hospital in town, they are originally from Texas but moved here for his work. So anyway, they seem lovely and the husband grew up with a PUG. Yeah. We will be meeting them in 3 weeks.

I really feel like this is the best place for Stan. When we spoke to the animal communicator-she said that Stan wanted to be an only dog and snuggled and loved. I think this couple is the perfect match.

 I will keeo you guys posted.

As for work, I had to take the baby with me-My babysitter bailed today. It is so tough with this babysitter..every other day I feel like we need to find a new one but I keep with this one for comfort reasons. I guess just like Stan-I have to think that there is a wonderful babysitter out there as well. One of my neighbors came by the other day with a welcome gift and so I think I will ask her about babysitter since she has 3 kids.

Okay enough for the boring post.

I have been working too much and it is killing me inside. I know I only work 20 hours a week but I am usually home for 15 of those 20 but this week..I have been away almost 13 hours and it is painful. I feel for every woman out therfe who has to work full time and be away from thier baby. I am looking forward to getting back to my usual work schedule where I am home with max. I don’t even mind if the baby sitter is with him for a few hours twice a week but to be away from this 3 days is a killer.

I am scared that I am going to miss Max doing something. I sat in a meeting today for 3 hours and found myself thinking about what max was doing and if he was laughing or if he was making funny faces or if he was..It made me sad and hen I just felt lost. It was the first time that I experienced this feeling anf I did not like it at all. Thank goodness tomorrow will end this crazy cycle of meetings. Tursday and Wednesday are the ONLY days I am allowing myself to make for meetings. Yes, my career is important to me but my time with Max is more important.

I have always said that I feel so lucky to have done the corporate things and the climbing the ladder and I feel like I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. I do not feel pulled by my job. I do have a tendency to get caught up in my work but I am not drawn to real estate like I once was. I am sure nutrition and health is the next path, when? who knows..For me, work is something I enjoy but it is not the most important.

I know I have it good but it still hard for those few hours. I appreciate how lucky I am.