So yes we are moving and it is to BOCA Raton, Florida. We were originally looking at Jupiter but the house fell through and I could not find a Montessori school that I loved and so Boca just kept pulling me closer but I have to admit and I can saying this being Jewish…that i always feared the Boca Jew but I have realized that no matter where you go-you find those people and I will find those people that I click with. We are in full force packing mode. I have been crying but a good cry and more because I saw a few friends that i will truly miss who have been in my life and are so important to me. One especially I will miss and I think she and I could be sisters in this life and then I have another one that we really could be sisters but she is not married nor a mom and so we just don’t share as much of that stuff..both I adore. I have spent the past few weeks going out to dinner with a friend and having a one on one dinner and it was so special-laughing and crying and talking about the wonderful trips we will have in the future together and all the 7 am talks we will have when we are both falling apart..

Boxes are packed and the packers come on the 24th and then pack the kitchen, art work, the TV’s and then they load the 25th and then we are out of here the 26th and close the 27th. We leave Philly the 28th for Florida and I am excited and sad. I am looking forward to a new life for my family but will miss what I know. I like knowing things and having the comfort of my surroundings but this experience is teaching me a whole lot about just trusting and I feel so close to my husband despite the many annoyances we have daily with moving questions but I think that is standard.

I do feel a little nutty and I am not sleeping much..i feel like I wake up with a slight heart attack and then I re-group and tell myself it will all be ok. I have picked out carpet, wall colors and we are re-doing the kitchen and different color and new appliances. I am getting a baby gate for the pool and well there are just lots of little things that need to be done.

I also am behind in school and have a test soon, which I am sure I will do fine but I am still feeling pulled in every different direction.

I am happy that we are finding a place that we can all be together and all be well…and I am hoping we have found the place and if not..well nothing is forever and this move has helped me to understand that..

So we took the house off the market and then a couple who had come to out one open house fell in love and I know why they did..because we did a lot of work to the house and is has beautiful Calico curtains and a sauna and a finished basement and tons of upgrades we did to the house because we thought we would be here forever. Well they made and offer and we accepted. We are finished with the inspection period and they have 3 days to put down hard money but they also have a mortgage contingency that end July 1 st. So it is not definite but I am 90% sure we are moving. We found this amazing DREAM house in Jupiter, Florida  that they are building right now-WOW new construction with my dream kitchen and an outdoor kitchen too ..oh and also a pool. It is in a community with a playground and shops and an elementary school right in the development. It is pretty cool. It is based on the concept of urbanism-work, play and live.

So the hubby and I fly down Monday and meet with the developer on Tuesday and walk through the house. I feel at this point i have cried all the tears, been angry, felt annoyed, been sad, been scared and now I have just let go and accepted that this is what is best for my family. I want my husband to feel well and up north his psoriasis is bad. He has been going to doctors to find out about embrel, but that is an immune suppressing  drug and that is scary to us because any cold or virus could essentially kill him. So moving is the answer and now that I am through all those feelings I am getting excited.

I am looking for a nanny to help me a little, searching for a school for Max and finding out about speech therapy in Florida. The move would be the end of August and we would be living down in Florida, hopefully chillin and building a new life for us. I know I will meet people but it is also hard to start new. I know it is a lot of mommy classes with Samantha and playgrounds with the kids and finding those moms to become friends with again. It is hard but I know I can do it and I have to do it for the sake of my family. I am happy is my family is happy and truthfully, I think this move will be amazing for all of us…a slower way of life and we are 4 miles from the beach. WOW.

So I will keep you posted..it is all good and I guess that is what I finally realized..we will be fine no matter where we are as long as we are healthy and together.

We were at a great spring festival last weekend. There was a petting zoo, slides, fire trucks and lots of games for the kids. We all went together, which was really a lot of fun. Max and Samantha both had a great time. Max is getting so much better at going into places with tons of people. I think he is just getting older and more confident. There were fire trucks and that made his day. It is so funny because Scott could not get Max to look at the camera but I am sure you get the idea. Of course the minute the camera was away he was having a ton of fun again.

I swear I look at this picture and wonder where my little boy is because he looks so grown up. I am amazed at how fast the time is going even though some days feels so long.

Now Miss Samantha was having a love affair with this rabbit. It was really cute because they had three sections the gate was low enough that she could reach the animals. There were chickens and two kinds of rabbits but this one was her favorite. It was so cute to watch. She was being so gentle too and I was really proud of her.

Max also enjoyed feeding the goats and sheep. It was so much fun. They had little bowls of food for $1.

We had a wonderful time despite the total mommy move on my part. First off, it was hotter than I thought and both my kids had long sleeve and pants on and then the stroller that I keep in my truck needed air in the tires. Those are both total mommy moves but at least nobody looked really hot and nobody would have known that it was hard to push the stroller with no air in the tires. I swear my brain can only hold so much information at one time.

As for the move, we have decided to delay the move either till december if a buyer is willing to wait that long or next summer. It just felt rushed and Max is not fully potty trained and so I was becoming insane. Bottom line:insane mother = insane family. So I let go and said this is when I can do it and we will see if it works but at least I let it go and are getting back to normal-slowly-FYI-I don’t do change well and admire people that can. Those type of people give me hope for myself. LOL

I am happy we are getting a lot of interest with our house being on the market but exhausting-it is so clean and pristine. I live in a clean house to begin with..I like things to be clean and in order..I am not super organized but I dont enjoy dirt or things being real messy-it makes my brain feel crazy..but this is just crazy. We have no pictures up. I am cleaning non stop and wiping things down. I dont even have knives or cooking utensils on the counter but the house looks amazing and shows so well. We have has two open houses and about 15 people walk through our house. We have a couple coming today to take another look.

I am happy and sad at the same time. I am happy because the health of my family with greatly improve with the move but sad because I adore my friends, my sitter and Max’s school. I will of course be so sad to not be near my parents of scott;s mom but after this past winter and all the health issues with Scott’s skin-well it is time. I know that Max is so much less allergic in the summer and well my general anxiety just does better in a slower pace life. It is good and not good. I have been feeling really stressed from all of this. I am trying to look at this as an adventure but it is hard. I have worked so hard to build a life here but I know that I will do it again. I know the health of my hubby is huge for our life. He has psoriasis that is arthritic and each year it is getting worse. I know Max is so much better in the summer. I know I need sun and well Samantha, despite not liking the sand or grass to touch her feet, will love being in limited clothing.

Life will be good and I have to keep looking toward the future and not the now..because right now I am just sad, annoyed and happy..strange mix of emotions but so true.

As for the kiddos, been a rough patch with detox with Max. He was actually having some issues with his speech, that was going so great, and I was warned that as he detoxed this may happen but I took the steps to start and remyelinate his nerves and things seem to be getting better again. Remyelination is a term for the re-generation of the nerve’s myelin sheath. When there is a huge dump of heavy metals or gut bugs, then sometimes, there is a loss of speech because the actual nerves in your body need to be re-coated. Crazy huh but I was also told this is a great sign that he is getting better. So he is taking a lot of spirulina and ashwaganda. I am aslso giving him an RNA made by Dr Amy Yasko called Nerve Coat and this seems to be helping a lot as well. It has just be a tough week. Tomorrow I will post some great pics and other wonderful updates.

I am just hoping we have an offer soon so we can stop the museum like living..

Ever get totally stressed and then you go nutty in the kitchen?

I made 2 batches of home made protein bars for Scott. Ingredients were:

Oats
Millet Flour
Soy Flour
Brown Rice Syrup
Pumpkin
Carrots
Raisins
1 Egg (1 batch with and 1 without)
Cinnamon

Then I made a soup for me. Ingredients were:

Veggie Stock
Kombu, which is this
Azuki Beans
Lentils
Celery
Butternut Squash

It was so yummy.

I also had a good cry this am and my hubby is great..he just listened and did not offer an advice. He did say that it would take time and he is right.

I took a drive down to Essene Market, here , and bought a new Juicer and picked up our box of wheat grass. I also had some lunch. Then I went to see my best girlfriend and did some gabbing, which made everything feel ok again. Max slept on the way home and well, I felt normal. It is going to take time and I just can’t go and create it in 2 weeks, which is what I thought I could do. Yeah Superwoman Syndrome.