Maxsmom » Self Soothing

Gentle Sleep Training and BINKY BE GONE!

Rachel — Sat, 23 May 2009 17:53:35 +0000

Sam is now sleeping through the night. It took two nights of crying and then she has slept for the past 3 nights. Last night she did wake up at 4 am but I felt that anything after 4 pm is pretty much sleeping through the night. The other two nights were 7 pm to 6 am. Wow! Amazing. I barely slept those two nights because I stood by her crib rubbing her forehead and patting her swaddled tummy and sending her loving vibes. I did however let her cry 5 mins, then 10 mins and then 15 mins alone in her room. I watched the monitor like a momma bear watches her cave. I actually felt ok. I felt ok because her cries were whining cries and not blood curdling cries. I slept her half of the night in the crib then the other half in the swing. I wanted to be gentle with her and myself. Then the next night I slept her half the night in her crib and the other half in her bassinet that rocks back and forth for ten minutes before automatically shutting off. I figured what the hell..I am doing this in a gentle way. Don’t get me wrong it still sucked and I barely slept and my nerves were shot but she is now sleeping.

Since I felt so pumped about helping my little girl and of course helping myself we decided to take the binky away from Max. Well actually max had his 3 month speech and language evaluation and they said the binky had to go. Thank goodness I had just toughened up from my experience with the blood test and the sleeping stuff with Sam because I only had a mini melt down. Just the week before my friend said she took her little guy to the dentist who said her son’s teeth were shifting due to the binky etc and so she took it away but guess what I said…HELL NO I WOULD RATHER PAY FOR BRACES FOR TEN YEARS THAN TAKE IT AWAY but his speech is another thing and if it helps him then we have to do it. Apparently, the tongue must be at rest in the mouth for speech development and when a kid is sucking on the binky, well the tongue is not at rest. So we took it away yesterday am. Max was only sleeping with it but I was so scared it would screw up sleep, which has never been easy with Max. But he did nap yesterday with ease and slept last night fine and had a rough time this nap today but he finally passed out. Wow! I actually think I am growing up as a mom. We told him we lost the binky’s and we could not get anymore.

I will keep you posted on both situations. Hopefully all goes well.

Aren’t they adorable? I am so happy it is warm outside so we can play.

I can handle the tears..finally..

Rachel — Wed, 20 May 2009 00:25:09 +0000

So I can finally handle the tears. I have out off a blood test for Max for 1 1/2 years and finally we did it. We got a blood test today that will show us what foods he is allergic to. The test is amazing and they test so many different foods, not just the basic ones. Most allergy tests just test whether you are allergic but they do not test sensitivities and this one does. Scott held down Max’s chest and arm and I held down the legs and we were able to draw almost 2 viles. I shed a few tears myself in the hall and then I pulled myself together and stood strong for my son. Max was great. He screamed and fought but in the end we got it done.

As for Miss Samantha, we have decided to do a gentle method for helping her to get back to sleep. At this point it is just habit because she was waking the past month due to being uncomfortable but now it is just habit. So last night I did not give her a bottle during the night when she woke up and she was not happy. She did not want to be held or have her binky-she just wanted her bottle but I did not give it to her. She cried on and off for about 1 1/2 hours and finally went to sleep and did not wake again. She used to sleep great and I know she can do it. Max was a different kid and still is. Max, even in the hospital, wanted to sleep with me but not Sam..she wanted her own space.

This morning as I saw her look up at me with her big beautiful blue eyes and loving me so much..I knew that she was ok. I really struggled with doing this because I felt that a parent should be there at any time of the day for their child but I see now that it is good to help your child self soothe. No matter what, Max had such bad ear infections that this was never possible anyway and we did actually have him sleeping in his crib almost through the night when he was 10 months old but then the ears got really bad.

So with all that said, I am so tired. I barely slept. Max had a really bad night and woke me up at 5 am after I had only slept a few hours but in the long run this will be good. I guess we are doing a very gentle method-one that involves Sam knowing that I am there but also knowing that she needs to put herself to sleep. We will see..

Max’s New Haircut

Rachel — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:56:31 +0000

I guess Max is really lucky that he has such great hair. I did not cut his hair for the first 7 months but it was so long and crazy that we had no choice. He has had about 6 haircuts since then and still his hair grows and grows and grows. He has a combination between my curly locks and his fathers hair, which is kind if curly but can be combed straight.

Luckily we have this col place called Kids Cuts and they have a slide and dvd for the kids and it is a lot of fun and distraction but still when the women gets near Max’s ears well then it is all over. I wish there was a better way to ease the mind of your kid during these times but if somebody was coming at me with scissors and I did not know them, well I guess I would scream too. At least he looks cute at the end of the day.

And yes we still allow the binky. I guess we will not take it away either till he gives it up or after the next baby. He loves his binky so much. We do not give the binky when we go out but he is allowed at home and in the car. Some kids have blankies, he has a binky. Either way, I am sure we will be fine. I think too many people make rules about when kids should not have things that make them feel secure. I am sure it will all balance out. I do not think he will graduate school with his binky in his mouth. lol

We can’t handle the tears!

Rachel — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 17:58:02 +0000

We cannot handle the tears. We thought we would be comfortable doing sleep training but we are not. We had tried when Max was about 10 months and Max cried and cried and threw up a few times. We did manage to get him to sleep in his crib a few nights with only spending the 5 am and on in our bed but now-we just can’t. We both thought that we would wait until after the ear tube surgery but now that we talked about it-it just does not make sense for us. Of course it is hard when Max gets up for a mid night party and is up for 2 hours but that usually only happens when he is really teething or when he had an allergic reaction to a food. Max sleeps in his bed from 7 pm till 11 pm or 12 am and then sleeps in our bed the rest of the night. He typically does not wake up until 6 am and since the surgery it has been 7 am (*YEAH!! Please GOD keep this going for the sake that I am pregnant and tired). I have always had a tough time thinking about the sleep training. I have no problem letting his fuss and cry when it is tantrum but the sleep thing is just too hard. I guess it is hard for me to train Max to know that I am not coming at night. I do not say this to pass judgement..this is just to explain my feelings. I am jealous of those moms that have perfectly sleeping kids but we cannot handle the tears. I was worried that Max would not learn to self soothe but after watching him evolve this past 16 months, I see and independent and fearless kid who knows how to soothe himself to sleep at 7 pm and for his naps. As for the sleeping though the night, I am hoping he leans by the next baby. And if he does not, well then I guess we will have to figure something out. Please understand that i no way and I passing judgement. We in no way set out to be parents who did co-sleeping but it worked out that way over time. All in all Max is a very special kid and so I am thinking that we are doing something right. What have you experienced with your kid or kids when it comes to sleep?

HOLY CRAP!!

Rachel — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:16:35 +0000

He slept for 7 hours and then another 4 hours. WOW!! OMG!! All in his big by crib. He woke up at 2 am. I went in and told him that I love him and put his binky in his mouth and left the room. He whimpered for about 2 minutes and then wen t to sleep. 7 pm to 6 am with one wake up. Cannot believe it. I was almost scared that he was not ok. Well I will see what happens tonight but he is putting himself to sleep in less than 5 minutes after I leave him.

Pictures to post later of our run in the park.

Another Sleep Update, Teething, A doctor Visit and the Flu Shot without Mercury, and a Play date

Rachel — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 01:17:39 +0000

As for last night, the sleep went like this. He woke up at 9 pm and I gave him a ounce of his bottle in his crib and then put his binky back in. He woke up at 11 pm and I put his binky back in and left the room. He cried for 4 minutes. Then at 12:50 am, he woke, I gave him a bottle in his crib and he slept till 5 am. At that time, I picked him up and we went into the other room and slept for another hour.

I know Max is having a tough time sleeping because he is teething so bad again. But at least he slept in his room. I was so proud of him this morning. Each time he went right back to sleep. He was also rested and that made me feel happy for him. Although Max is always happy.

As for teething, he is starting to shove his whole hand in his mouth again. Poor Max. OUCH!

We saw Daphne Goldeberg today. Max is 29 1/4 inches and he is 22 pounds. Grew 3/4 of an inch and gained a pound. WOW! I was so happy when she told me that he does not have an ear infection anymore. Thank goodness. I am so happy. We also talked in length about his sleep and we both agreed that my version of taking it slow and trusting my instinct with the crying is the best for us. I do not need it to happen overnight. I just want to make sure he can learn to self soothe and learn that he can put himself to sleep. It was wonderful to talk with her about it in detail and hear your mothering experiences ads well. We also talked about the weaning and I feel the same about that-meaning that I am going to listen to Max. If he wants to nurse then he can and if he wants a bottle then he can. As ong as I can pump milk for him-well that is the most important to me-getting him those nutrients from my breast milk. He also had a flu shot today. But one of the reasons we chose Daphne as a doctor is that she buys from a distributor in England, who makes the shot without mercury. Can you imagine? All of the flu shots are made with mercury and only one place makes the shot without and it is exensive. Amazing huh? Then as before, I have him the homeopathic remedy, Thuja, which helps his body to not reject the vaccine so that he would not have a reaction.

Then we went to the Narberth Playground to meet one of the babies from our Music Class. It was great to talk with another mom and I just had fun. Max loves swinging so much. So it was a nice treat after the doctors visit.

He’s learning!!!

Rachel — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 00:38:38 +0000

I am very proud of my little guy. Last night it went like this. I put him to bed at 7:15 pm and said, “Ok little guy, momma and daddy love oyu and it is time to go to sleep so you can wake up feeling good”. He cried for about 15 minutes with me in the room and then he went to sleep. He woke up at 9 pm and put himself back to sleep. THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED. Then he woke at 11 pm and this was where it got to be tough. Let me first say that I love co-sleeping with Max but for me-it worries me that he cannot go down in his bed for the second part of that night. I also think abot the next baby and two babies not sleeping makes me a worried momma. I want Max to be able to do something I could never-Self Soothe. I am sure kids who co-sleep for as long as they wish all turn out to be amazing kids too but as I have said before-IT NEED TO BE WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY.

So then Max cried on and off, with both Scott and myself, in the room for the next 2 hours. He would be half asleep for 30 minutes and then start to cry-so it was not a constant 2 hour thing-it was very on and off and a lot fo the cry was a type of moaning. TRUST ME-IF IT WAS HORRIBLE-I WOULD NOT HAVE DONE IT-SCREW THE BOOKS-I AM TRUSTING MY GUTT ON WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR ALL OF US. I READ OF THAT MUMBO JUMBO AND NONE OF IT MADE SENSE FOR ME-I TOOK A LITTLE IN THIS BOOK AND A LITTLE IN THAT BOOK AND CAME UP WITH MY WAY OF DOING IT. So then he slept from 1 until 4:45 am which was amazing. Then I took the little man and went a lied down in another room till it was time to get up. Another thing he did from the 1 am until 6:30 am (when we got up for the day) was he slept without his BINKY. OMG.

Then this evening-it went like this. Put him down-he fussed for 3 minutes with his eyes wide open and closed his eyes and went to sleep. OMG.

I will keep you posted about the late shift.

Baby Food, Mommy Update and things that a baby does..

Rachel — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 13:50:50 +0000

Well first off yesterday I made amaranth, blackstrap mollasses, pears, cinnamon and breast milk for Max’s breakfast. Yummy! It was his power breakfast. The amaranth was such an alkalizing meal for my little guy. He is still n ot too big on feeding himself. Of course, he likes to play with the spoon, suck on it, gum it and thrown it on the floor but he does not feed himself. If I put the bowl in front of him, well he enjoys playing with the food then wiping it in his hair and then throwing the bowl.

As for me, I woke up this am and just wanted to give the big F**K to a few people. I just woke up that way and I still feel that way. I almost feel like it is anger that has been going on for a while but it is just not worth the fight. I am trying to think positive about stuff. I ahve a great life and a healthy family. I am trying not to be that girl that whines but some stuff just pisses me off no matter how much I know it should not but it does. GRUNT!!

Sometimnes, I just feel like not refraining but I do.

As for my little guy, he is so cute. When Max is tired he will lay his head on the ground but in the past week he comes over and lays his head on my chest. It makes me melt from the inside out. Today I was rocking him and he was sitting on my lap and I was rubbing his back (one of things I do to settle him down) and then he snuggled up next to me and laid his head on my chest as I was humming..BA BA BLACK SHEEP..well let me just say it was the cutest things I had ever seen. He closed his eyes and I rubbed his head until he let out one of those breaths that scream..MAMA, I AM SO RELAXED YOU CAN NOW SWADDLE ME AND PUT ME IN MY CRIB. And so I did. To top it off, it is nice in Philadelphia today and so the windows are open and I can hear the trees and the birds.

So with all of the anger pouring out..I can still stop and appreciate the little things in life.

Nursing, Nursing and Nursing

Rachel — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 13:36:04 +0000

Let me start ofdf by saying there is no baby self-soothing in this home.I guess Max is either going through a growth spurt or his gums itch so badly that he wants to nurse and nurse. He has been nursing 5 or 6 times a night for the past 3 nights. We, meaning Max and I, have moved to the soare bedroom to sleep because he will go down and then get up an hour later or even 10 minutes. I was trying to get up each time and nurse him and go back to bed but then this is what happened:

“PSYCHO NO SLEEP MOM ARRIVED” and so I decided the best thing to do was get some sleep, which means having Max sleeping next to me. So now I am getting back to my old self and not the crying, emotional, depressed, psycho, sensitive, moody, bitchy, freaky and irritable can go away.

For Scott and I, we have always parented bu our heart and our gutt. Our gutt sayd that Max does not feel well and so he shold be near his momma. He also wants to be carried and soothed so for now Project Self-Soothe is being put on hold.

If anybody has some good stuff about teething that they want to share: Bring it on. Just as an FYI!~ I give him frozen fruit to help with the teething, teething tablets and well that is about it. Oh and I do rub gums.

Project Baby Self Soothe Take 5

Rachel — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 13:36:17 +0000

Today after reading more in the “No Cry Sleep Method” I watched Max and watched for sleep cues. he started to pull his hair, rub his eyes and rub his neck. I then took his right to him room and started to read a book and then rub his back, play with his hair, tickle his forehead-all of the things I do in his night bedtime.

Well, I swaddled him and he fought for a second but then went to sleep.

Usually, I watch for the cues and look at the clock. He usually goes down for a nap about 2 1/2 to 3 hours after he wakes up. And today was 2 1/2 hours but usually I do not do the ritual and usually he would have been up for another 30 mins till he was really fussy ands tired.

As I said before, I like reading these books for ideas. The book also said that a baby who nurses twice a night is not a problem sleeper and just hearing that made me feel better. It is so easy to get caught up in this sleep or no sleep biz. The self soothing will help for those times at night after nursing when he just does not go down so easily*especially lately with thjese damn teeth coming in. Before, I would nurse and he would go right down but now it is more of a nurse, rock, swaddle, hum, rock and rock.

But today I feel like a champ because we all slept well last night.