Today we had our full anatomy scan and all was well and yes, it is a girl. I had a feeling it was a girl and we are so excited. I think Max will be an amazing big brother and I am so happy to have one of each. I feel so lucky.

This little one will be named Samantha Jane-or at least that is what we have decided as of today. We will probably call her Sam.

I was very nervous about the scan and Scott asked me why I did not say anything to him but my hubby, as great as he is at listening, would have just tried to solve the problem and say something like…WHY WOULD YOU BE NERVOUS? EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE. Then I would have been pissed off so I just did not say anything to him but I was nervous. I just wanted to find out that everything was good so far and it was. We are very fortunate.

I am excited to decorate a room with pink and buy adorable outfits but I have to admit that I know how to raise a boy and so there is a part of me that is scared. But I also feel that no matter what-I would not really parent any differently. I am very sweet with max but also rough and I do not think I would be much different. That is just who I am.

Anyway, we are off to the beach for a week tomorrow am and I have decided not to bring my laptop. We are going to really step back from the computer for this week. I am so excited. So I will chat with you guys when we get back.

Here it is: the 16 week belly shot. I have a few people tell me that I am carrying differently that Max but who knows. We find out the sex of the baby July 18th and then we go away the 19th to the beach. Yeah!! I am so surprised that I have only gained 10 pounds so far because that was not the case with Max. It is so much easier about the weight stuff now that I am showing because before..well it just looked like I was eating a lot of ice cream and cookies. 

Max is now looking at my stomach and putting his finger in my belly button when I say where is the baby. Then he kisses and lays his head on my belly. He has become a real snuggle bug lately and I love it. He will watch sesame street with his head on my chest and sometimes he reaches to hold my hand. This of course makes me melt. 

We have been spending a lot of time just sitting outside and watching the birds and airplanes and sipping cold water while he eats ice. Ice is his favorite thing right now with the heat and the teething. I am just enjoying being a mom so much. I actually feel like I graduated to another level of calm mothering this month and it feels damn good.

I think I figured out why I am feeling so run down..my kid is teething and not sleeping. When Max is not feeling well, he my be up about 4 times a night and does not go into a deep sleep. I have been going to sleep later because he is waking up at 10 pm and by the time I get to sleep myself it is 11 pm and then he is up and then I am up. It has been hard and I guess I never think about the sleep thing because I have never had a good night of sleep since max was born but now that I am pregnant, well I am so damn tired.

Today was one of those days. I woke up and looked in  the mirror and there were bags under my eyes and my eyes were swollen. I woke up irritated and tired. I felt like there was nothing in my gas tank. I felt like I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. It is not just taking care of Max..it just feels like everything.I know this is not real…it is just because I am tired and not sleeping.

Max did not want to go down for a nap and I felt so irritated and felt like saying why me.

Then my hubby did not put away the soup in the crock pot from this am (which I had asked) and I wanted to say why me. **(even though I just forgot something yesterday for him and it was not big deal but Iin my head TODAY it was a big deal)

I need to pay some bills and I want to say why me.

I need to take back a pair of awesome shoes I bought and get a smaller size and I want to say why me.

See such privileged problems but still when I am tired and pregnant..well nothing matters. I am sure I will feel better tomorrow and hopefully Max will sleep tonight.

Lately I have been talking to other women who are pregnant and not feeling well. I have heard women talk about varicose veins, hemorrhoids, nausea and a bunch of other things. I have also talked to many women I know who are having fertility issues. I am not sure if I am just the type of person that hates to be in pain but I immediately call either the chinese herbalist, the homeopath or the herbalist.

I guess I just feel more comfortable with those remedies than a doctor. I am not opposed to taking medication. I think medicine is important at the right times but I am all for preventative medicine. One of the most common problems during pregnancy is that you feel tired. Of course it is party due to the hormones but it is also because the body is trying so hard to build blood and people like me, a mom that is anemic, tend to have trouble building blood. Of course the baby is fine but the mom suffers. So I got chinese herbs to help build blood and I am drinking nettle tea, a tonic used in ancient times to build blood. 

As for the other varicose and hemorrhoid issue, I know that the spleen, which is what holds up the baby during pregnancy gets tired and so eating foods that help the spleen to be supported is awesome and of course-getting acupuncture. 

As for fertility, I have been so lucky. I got pregnant the first try with Max and the second month of trying with this one. I ad no idea my period was 37 days long and so I miss judged the cycle. But I do know a few women that are scared to try natural remedies and do not want to see a doctor either. I guess we all have our own journey.

Well as for me, the instant I don’t feel good, I try and figure out who I need to see and then it is all better again. Don’t think that I am a natural doctor hopper but I am a big believer that some peoples bodies need some extra help. I guess this body is one of them.

But all in all-I am healthy. I workout, chase after a toddler and I am on the go constantly.

I am easily forgetting this time around that I am pregnant. I was actually jumping on a bouncey with my son and I am not sure what got into my head but I plopped down on my butt-ya know like you do on a trampoline and bam-it actually occurred to me that I am pregnant. Go figure. I did not bleed and I did not have any pain. I called both my doctor and the midwife to discuss my screw up and both said not to worry. They both said I am only 15 weeks along and if anything would have happened-meaning bleeding-it would have happened in the past 24 hours. But still-come on! I think it is just so easy to get caught up in playing with Max that I forget, I never forgot with Max. It was my first pregnancy and I was so careful. I am still careful but not like when I was pregnant with Max.

I also have not read one thing online about pregnancy. I read one book as a reference written  by a woman who is a herbalist and a midwife but of course I am forgetting it because I have prego brain. I guess I did scare myself. I have a doctors appointment on Wednesday and I just want to hear that heart beat. I am sure everything is okay but I just want to hear it.

As for my food-I am so damn hungry again. I think I just need to give into and let myself not be so freaked out about the weight. I just hated having to lose all the weight but I did lose it minus 4 pounds. So I guess give myself a damn break.

Also this time I am not loving being pregnant like I was with Max. I of course love that I am making a life but I am just tired. With Max, I could relax and enjoy the pregnancy but now-I am running after Max, which I am so thankful for but still tired.

I guess it will be a long next few months but guess what-we booked a week down the beach in July and one in September. Yeah!! A vacation for our family. A guess life is good after all. Damn Pregnant bitchy woman. LOL