Dearest Samantha,

From this picture above, I can tell you are 15 months going on 12 years old. I swear you are so grown up already and even though time sometimes feels like it stands still, it seems to fly by. You have become a little girl this month in so many ways. I know I say that every month but I feel like this one your little girl personality is shining.

You are so independent. It is hard to even go food shopping with you because you refuse to be carried or sit in the grocery cart. I guess I could be that Mom with a screaming kid but I swear your will and power would override any games that I could play to distract you and no a cookie would not work, since you do not love food and you are gluten/wheat and soy free so our options are limited. Basically you want to walk on your own until you feel that I should pick you up and you do the little gesture with your hand and say something that resembles up…but I think you just say..”PPPPP”.

You have started to dance and break dance like your brother does. You actually watched him do one his moves and then did it yourself. You had me in tears from laughing so hard. Check it out!!

You have had a tough month so far…you have been sick twice. It seems this is the month that everybody in our family always gets sick-this month and October and you have been sick with a cold and then a chest cold-it has been awful..many homeopathic remedies such as pulsatilla, chamomilla, and kali bich. It seems that chamomilla did the trick and also helped with the 3 teeth that are coming in-2 molars and another tooth on the bottom right. UGH.

Oh can I have your eye lashes because I love them and just love you.

We actually went out to play yesterday even though you and the rest of us were not feeling great but I knew that vitamin D would help and it was so nice until you ate the dirty snow and then we went inside. LOL. You have this part of you that like to gets in trouble and I can see that look where you just want us to say NO..like how you try and hang from the over handle these days..You have such an adventurous side to you. I love it and I see so much of myself. I am getting myself prepared.

You are still in love with Shrek and actually laugh at different parts of the movie. You also love Milo and Otis, a film about a cat and dog and their travels. You are really enjoying playing with the pretend kitchen and are great at enjoying your toys on your own but you also love to wreck your brothers toys and then watch him get upset. I have a feeling this will go on for a long time between the two of you. You are the light of my life. I am so lucky to have you as my little girl and to watch you grow and experience. I hope you never stop exploring and continue to challenge us. I love that you are strong willed and yet need to be cuddled and snuggled. Keep loving…you are so loved by me.

Love,

Your Mommy

Just when I was asking myself daily..is this the right thing for my family-which is what I ask myself moment to moment..Max spoke in a 8 word sentence. 8 Words!! OMG! He said, ” I drink water to cool me belly off!” I was amazed. Tears almost fell from my eyes as I watched this little boy who spoke NO words in March, now speaking and communicating in an 8 word sentence. Lately, with the constant search to help my family with allergies, psoriasis, speech delays and GI trouble and my own fatigue issues since having the kids..it can be a lot. I don’t often talk about this stuff on this blog because I use this blog as more of a documentary to show the kids how hard we worked to raise them and how amazing they are day to day.

We found Amy Yasko because after diet changes and speech delays and allergies that could not be explained I knew it was more of an auto immune issue-which is basically what psoriasis (my hubby) and so we landed here-doing the Yasko protocol, which means that I am giving B12 shots every 3 days to myself, the hubby and Max..compounding a variety of supplements, dosing us with RNA’s (which are basically formulas which bypass our genetic mutations) and watching daily for detox..of and I forgot to mention doing a major gut protocol-killing the yeast and bacteria in our gut!

We just sent in urine and stool samples to re-test and see how we are doing with the supplements. I am hoping that the yeast and bacteria have lessened but those damn bugs are hard to get rid of. I guess it has just been a lot of stress on me. I have to realize that in the end we will all be fine but I also know that we will be fine because I am doing what I need to do for us to be healthy. I need to look at this as a journey and not an overnight quick magic bullet.

So it has been amazing to know that I am saving our family and learning so much about genetics. Who would have known that I would be able to speak to doctors about genetics, let alone nutrigenomics (using supplements to bypass genetic mutations).

Let me say that I know I have the most amazing kids out there but lately it has been tough. We are all doing the amy yasko protocol, which means that we are ALL detoxing. Max has been having a lot more rashes all I detox the bacteria, yeast, aluminum and copper from his body. My husband and I are feeling the detox as well because we have had so many more years to accumulate toxins compared to the kids. I am tired and worried daily that I am doing the right thing for the kids but Max’s speech was blown away the other day during his session. She cannot believe how good he is doing and I know that the yasko stuff is the right thing to do but dosing and detoxing your child is so hard. During detox, it is not uncommon for me to see Max either sad or aggressive or just plain cranky and that is not what Max is like at all. I knew I would take the vacation to really hit the bacteria in his gut hard because he would be at home but I feel bad for him. I am trying to look at the future and remind myself of our goals.

As for me, yesterday was just one of those days. I was tired. Sam or Max have been waking up at 5 am. Sam is cutting a tooth and Max wakes because he hears her waking or vice versa. I am going and going and I am just plain tired. I even felt like crying yesterday. To top it off my little girl was playing with her blocks and threw one at me and now I have a busted eye and I am swollen in between both of my eyes. I am trying to teach her that we dont throw or hit. She is feisty. I never had to do this stuff with Max so I am learning as if it were my first. She is hysterical and it takes everything for me not to laugh but I say in a clear and calm voice …be nice..no throw..gentle..I have a feeling she is my wild child. Max and Sam are complete opposites. If Max takes a toy from Sam she will actually go and hit him..my little angel even bit him two months ago..feisty..of course there is this part of me that loves it and it makes me so happy that my little angel can stand u for herself but I also know that I need to draw the line now before it gets bad. I don’t want her to be that little girl that hits. I am sure it will be fine. It is so funny how our kids are so different and yet they have the same genes.

So I am just having one of those days and trying to stay grateful. It is a new year full of exciting stuff..becoming a nutritionist..getting my families health in the best place it an be..and learning how to be a better woman..I want to let go of thinking that I am never ding enough..I am doing enough and far beyond..I love my family so much that sometimes I find myself worrying so much that it is not enough..but it is and I am too.

Happy New year! I welcome 2010 with open arms…

After a full week of venting, I thought it would be good to share some pics!

So here is another one of Max and his cars!

And here is another one of my little girl who is always striking a pose for the camera!

And there is the typical morning in my house!

And then there is a typical Sunday. Go Eagles!

So we are all doing much better. Sam is fine and it toughened her up. Max is loving school and I think he enjoys the constant schedule and attention he gets there. We went to the chinese herbalist and she gave him a formula for Qi stagnation, clearing the heat and calming the spirit. He started to eat again. Yeah! I think I will take the baby next week. I am also doing NAET with him, which is a technique used to help clear allergies and intolerances. We cleared Eggs and chicken the other day and we will go back next week for another treatment. I did this when he was young but hopefully it will take this time.

I am almost done with my cold. I hate being sick. Good news is that the pill is regulating me and the doctor thinks that in 3 months I will be back to normal (whatever that is). I have also been doing a liver cleanse and I it has been hard to give up my huge bowl of popcorn at night (it is so my comfort food). At this point, I cannot give up that one cup of organic coffee in the am. I know I should but I cannot so for now, this is the best I can do. Lets see if by this week I have the willingness t give up my soy milk in my coffee, which is so my comfort food too. I love creamy anything!

So we have been sick here again. I was warned that when Max went to school that he would be sick non-stop in the beginning. So Max was sick again Thursday and then Sam got sick and then I got sick. I beat each cold over the past few weeks but this one I did not. I gave myself Arsenicum for my cold and then Kali bur when the sickness got really bad. I think I am almost done but I still feel like it is in my head and giving me a little brain fog. I also started a liver cleanse the other day so I am not surprised that I got sick because my immune system is working hard to push out the toxins from my body. All this hormonal stuff, candida, allergies  and anxiety just kept pointing back to my liver being clogged. So we decided to clean out that liver and boy, has it been hard and I feel so tired but also energized.

I have just been losing my patience lately with Max. Max has been having a lot of allergy and intolerances. He has been having reactions to everything again. It has been really hard on me because I feel like I dont know what to do and then I get angry and i think I have been taking it out on him when he refuses to eat and only wants to drink his hypo-allergenic formula. I finally let go last night and that loving MOM came back. I cried the night before when I was yelling at him because he would not eat. He has been on a food strike for the past week and for some off reason I take it personally instead of just stepping back and getting perspective. I just collected a urine test from him this AM and will be shipping it off today so we can see how he filters toxins. I also made an allergist appointment for him and Wednesday he is seeing a chinese herbalist named Cara Frank. Hopefully she can clear some internal heat and help with the stagnation, candida and allergies. Just an ongoing process and it can sometimes be really hard but I just need to let go of it and keep moving forward to help Max.

So yesterday morning sucked! I was dropping Max off at school and rushing and I went to put Sam in the ergo carrier and she fell on the concrete. SHE FELL and his her head. I picked her up and held her so tight and went and got max and took him into school. She had stopped crying in 30 seconds but had a huge bump on her head. I gave her Arnica homeopathy and put on Arnica gel and watched her closely. I gave her Arnica later in the day again and she seemed to be fine. I was just rushing. I was rushing to get Max to school and rushing to get to Valley Green for a run with Samantha and she fell. I was crying in the parking lot after I dropped off Max. I know she is fine and I know we all have those moments where our babies get hurt because of something we do but it was still hard. I called the doctor and she told me what to do and what to look for over the next 24 hours. All is fine with Miss Samantha, thank GOD!