Well I spoke to my husband last night in a very positive way, more  than I did a week ago. I am not sure if I mentioned in my post that I spoke to my husband about the issues I had mentioned but I was so emotional and so irritated that I don not think it was productive, even though we ended up having a great weekend and the discussion ended in a hug. But last night it was calm and clear. i expressed my feelings without thinking..just letting them roll off regardless of the outcome. I guess I realized that Scott may never change but I need to. I witnessed growing up with my own mother-who was an amazing mom-but you could always tell that she was holding back her true feelings when it came to my dad and later my step-dad, I learned to stuff and to make sense of why things were messed up. I know I do not want to be that mom for me and I also don’t want Max and the next one to learn how to stuff. So I am talking regardless of the outcome.

I am starting to feel like the first trimester fog has lifted. I actually took Max to the pool and we ran around the house playing hide and go seek. We had an awesome day. I think I am also learning about my kids sleep schedules. When he naps one hour only he may go to sleep around 7:30 to 7:45. At one hour and 30 minutes it is 8 pm and finally at 2 hours it is 8:30 pm. Finally after 17 months I am starting to get it. I have also learned that Max can transfer from the car to his bed if he has only been asleep less than 10 minutes..if not just stay in the damn car and read a magazine. 

As for our sleeping arrangements, I have begun to get Max used to his room and that means I am going in to his room and not bringing him into bed with us–OH I MEAN I am falling asleep in his bed as I am helping him to get back to sleep. Actually this is working out quite well since I do not hear Esther’s pug breath/snort/cough. Yes I love my pug dearly but during pregnancy I am such a light sleeper that even her snorts keep me up. Also the hubby is a late night TV watcher and so..I and we, meaning Max and myself are sleeping great and sleeping till 7 am. WOW! Regardless, I am hoping I can keep myself awake to get back to bed but for now-at least he knows that our bed is not the place but know he knows his bed is and momma is there too. Baby steps is what I have to say. And honestly, I love having him next to me. But it will be nice sharing a bed with the hubby in about 5 years. 

Max and i went to the pool today. They have an amazing large in length and 1 foot in height baby pool. Max adored it and I think we will be there almost everyday after nap. I loved it too. They have a playground, snack bar, and a few pools. It is not a country club but they have a swim team and all that good stuff. It is right around the corner and we joined a few months ago. Anyway, Max fell down 3 times and got water in his ears and I leaned him over to the side-just like you do when you are older-and I shook and pushed on his ears to get the water out-but no ear pulling or ear digging. I am so damn amazed. I am so careful with his ears that I only wash his hair once a week. Luckily, he takes after me because his scalp never smells. hey women with curly hair can’t wash their hair more than once a week or it will all die.

Well I guess that is enough for tonight. I know I was supposed to do my tagged post but I had to write about our great Sunday and all the updates.

First off, let me say that I know I need to post about that amazing scarf-the one that was given to Max by one of my blog buddies and I also was tagged but I need to talk about this.

Let me also say that I love my husband, he is my best friend and a great dad but he pisses me off. Scott works from home but probably spends less quality time with Max than a out of the house dad. I guess I thought Scott would be very hands on-meaning that he would want to bathe, feed, play, read or put Max to bed sometimes but he just is on that dad. I also have to say that for the first 6 months of Max’s life, before we got a babysitter-he was the one who watched Max when I went to work 1 to 2 days a week. I guess it just makes me resentful and sad at the same time. I resent the fact that he is never the one who says, “Hey lets all go and do this this weekend”. When he is with Max, he is awesome with him and he is such a connected and fun dad in so many ways but he is not that dad who wants to be there for everything. I just wish there were more of those wonderful times. GGGRRRRR,

I also know that last time I was pregnant, I felt alone too. However, there is a part of me that feels like maybe I am just being more honest with myself since I am so hormonal. Or maybe nobody’s family life is like the way I think and I should stop being upset and just accept who I am with. I love my husband and actually this is really one of the few things that makes me upset in our relationship. Maybe it is just hard seeing him at home but not really seeing him. Maybe I just want him to ask once about coming to the playground or taking Max to the park or anything. I am not sure but I do know that the thought of a husband at this time kind of makes me nauseous. Damn pregnant bitchy woman!

The wedding kissOriginally uploaded by MaxsmomShannon from Tales of a Misguided Mommy had requested a picture from my wedding.

Well here we are kissing just after we saw each other for the first time.It seems so long ago but actually it is only 2 years ago, well 2 years on March 25th. I knew it was meant to be the moment I saw him. I was so attracted to him and I had not felt that way in a long time. When he talked me to me, I could feel his words touch my skin. I met him because he was trying to buy a commercial building and I was selling the building. He knew nothing about real estate and it made me laugh so hard. His partners tried to negotiate and in the end they lost the building. And then we were free to date and it all happened pretty fast. I called my mom a week later and told them I had met my future husband. He proposed 6 months later on Mother’s Day.

I feel like I married by best friend and for that I am really grateful. I could not imagine loving anybody else. Yes, he pisses me off and YES-he leaves his drawers open and Yes-he does not put his clothes in the hamper but YES-he is a great husband and a great father.

I am lucky to have him and I can say he is lucky to have me too!Have a good weekend!

Did you ever have one of those days where you left the house and had a wonderful day and then you come home and all you hear is this..blah, blah, blah?? Well I had one of those days.I went to the Flower Show with my mom today and I had a great time. I really felt like we connected in a way that we have not for a while. I came home and the minute I pulled up-I felt attacked and I am not sure why.I knew this would not be a good rest of the day when I was showing Scott a picture of Max in this brochure and he asked where the pic was in the middle of showing him the pic and then he asked louder and then I was pissed. See Scott likes to know what he is looking at before he looks and me..well I like to hear the story then know the basics. Well honestly, I don’t know if I care at all.So then he went upstairs. Then I took the baby for a walk in my Ergo carrier and we noticed a black sky and the wind picked up and so we headed home. We were in the garage when the hubby opened the door up fast and said, “Were you guys caught in that? ” And I said no. Max and I were watching the storm from inside the garage.  And then he said we should come inside and then I felt like I was going to kill him. I was like..how dare he question me since I am the Mom and I would never intentionally harm my kid in any way.So then Max and I came in after about 15 minutes and I screamed up the stairs..”Yo, I am going to make dinner..are you hungry?” And he asked what we were having and I said Fish and then he said he was fine. He did not even come down for dinner and honestly, I did not ask.Then he screamed down and asked me if I could make him a soup. Fine. Then he came down and asked if I wanted to watch a movie and I said no. I am not punishing him..I just don’t feel like it. And honestly, he just is annoying me today. I may be sensitive a lot but sometimes I just wish that relationships were easier, especially when I am tired.All in all..I love my husband and rarely does he annoy me and today is just one of those days. I guess we all have them from time to time.

I don’t really have a title this evening because so many things are going on in my head. I am running on empty due to lack of sleep and a kid with ear infections. I feel manic. But I also just got my period for the 2nd time since Max was born. And my first cycle was 36 days. I know some women are irregular after getting it again but come on 36 days. I know that you may be wondering why I  am complaining but I feel wacky and I know it is the hormones.————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-I was having one of those days where I actually wanted to kill people and especially my husband for no reason except the fact that he does not speak Woman Language. I was trying to explain something to him and he kept asking questions. ARF..that pisses me off.————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-I decided to take Max to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist to look at his ears. I have tried EVERYTHING for his ears and nothing seems to be working. It kills me to watch him in pain. I am not saying we are going to do Tubes but I at least want to know about the procedure.————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-I just feel like a cranky bitch but I am trying to be understanding and tell myself that lack of sleep with do it and I am craving CHOCOLATE since I was eating it everyday while we were away. I just want to go and sit on the couch for a few days and watch bad movies, eat popcorn, drink soda, eat chocolate and ice cream but I have to remember that the days of being single are over. I guess I should be grateful for my life now and how busy and full it is but sometimes I just want to be left alone.