So we arrived Monday. It was a little crazy getting here but we arrived. The house is so beautiful. I love it. The kitchen is white and the house is an open layout and we are just a walk to the bay or the beach.

Just in the past 2 days Sam has rolled over from her back to front and I swear is eating pizza late at night cause she looks huge. Max has a crew cut for the summer and not because I chose that. Max had his hair cut the other day and my sitter took him and he cried endlessly and so the cut was not so good so I thought the hubby should shave it since ALL boys know how to cut hair.WRONG!! not my hubby so he shaved a test run from front to back-GO FIGURE. I cursed, he yelled, I cursed, he cursed and I cried. I took Max, who was screaming bloody murder to the kid barber for an emergency shave. I had to hold him down in a wrestling move but he actually looks adorable.  Yeah he is that kid that screams with snot coming out of his nose and mouth. 

Regardless we made it but I did not lock the front door. yes you heard me. It was not locked because my mom had come over and I guess she just closed the door and I never checked it so our alarm went off last night because it just opened with the rains and the wind. I was amazed that the hubby was so sweet and understanding. He is generally very calm with that stuff but come on the front door. he just said that we all make mistakes and it was a crazy day. What a sweetie.

So Sam is not sleeping. I know she is teething really bad and will only sleep after a small dose of tylenol. She also will only sleep in her swing. UGH! She also does not like food at all. Could this all be teeth? I knew over the past 3 weeks that she was getting bad since she was sleeping half the night in her swing and if not, she screamed and screamed bloody murder. Daphne Goldberg, her doctor and I felt that it was more important to have her sleep that to force her to sleep in her crib but do they make swings that can hold a baby past 20 pounds. I know she is in pain and so I just dont have the heart to let her scream. I know she knows how to sleep and I know she is in discomfort. I tried giving her some homeopathy, Chamomilla 30c, and it seemed to work for a little but did not hold. I will probably call the homeopath today. Teething sucks. 

But the beach is awesome and as soon as I get the camera charged I will upload some pics. We will be here for 10 weeks and already I feel relaxed.I found a local moms group that is letting me join for the summer. I am so psyched.

Max went to the doctors yesterday and he is 27.8 pounds and 33 3/4 inches. He is growing up so fast. Since Max is not talking yet, I decided t hold off on shot until he is. I am not concerned about Autism but it is something I think about. I know it is more prevalent in boys.

As for his talking, I think his ear infections really halted his babble period and so here we are at 20 months with only 4 shots ever given to him so another few months won’t mean anything. But Max also plays with 4 boys who are not talking either and they are older than him. I know he will talk when he feels like it. Max is like that with stuff-he does it when he feels like it.

And since Max is not going to preschool anytime soon-well then I figure we have time. I have never be fond of how shots are given to kids-so many at one time and when their little immune systems have not grown up yet but for some kids-it is fine and for others-well not so fine. I just think Max is a sensitive guy all around-allergies, ear infections until the procedure and his emotions. It feels good to be an advocate for my kid. Like I said, every kid is different and so this is just what we have decided.

Max is finally back to himself. I think it must be hard adjusting to life back home. In New York we were constantly on the go-even more than at home- no wonder I was tired. But he is back in his routine just in time to leave for the beach-Long Beach Island, New Jersey. It will be nice to end the summer this way.

Well have a good night.

As promised, here it is. I looked at the picture I posted yesterday and it makes me look like I am huge so I figured I would post another. Especially after I was at our music class today and one of the moms who is prego is huge and only 3 weeks more than me. So here it is.

As for our music class, Max was hit by another kid. The kid is about 3 months older than Max and I guess I have a question for moms that have older kids. Do all kids hit at a certain age or do some kids never hit?  I was not upset when the kid hit him because I know the kid is a sweetie but his mom is pregnant too and maybe he is acting out or is he just being an older boy???

Well on another note-I think I did the superstar dance today because my kid waited to go to sleep until we got home. We came in and I made him a bottle and he waved goodbye to the down stairs and then I rocked him for a few and he got into bed. AAAAHHHHHH so nice. I felt like I am finally getting the hang of this sleep thing. Also Maxs sleep is getting better. I am sleeping 1/2 the night with him in his room and last night I only slept 3/4 with him. I am confident that by 23 months he will be doing pretty good but regardless I am happy with what we are doing. It works.

I just want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. Today I was thinking about Mother’s Day last year. We went to a really nice hotel for a brunch and Max pooped through his outfit and so I ran across the street and bought him a new one. I remember thinking..

Oh my goodness.

I should have packed another outfit 

I should have checked his diaper

Today I was thinking about how different is it being a mother now. First off, I usually do not have to worry about those yellow liquid poops anymore…oh now they are big and smelly. But I also thought about how much I have changed as a mother. I can usually pack exactly what I need for him for the day. I guess I just know my kid. Now I am sure as he gets older I will have to adjust to new things that he needs but for now they are pretty simple: Diapers, a Sippee Cup, Snacks, Wipes, A back up bottle with formula (plus I keep an extra one in the car), anti bacterial wipes and well that is about it. I always have a sweat shirt in the car for him and a hat. So I guess in conclusion, it is to say that I have learned a lot in the past year since the last Mother’s Day and it is nice to be a Mom. Plus the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world..or at least Max’s world.

Happy Mother’s Day!

I don’t consider myself to be a high anxiety person but for a long time I had anxiety about being a mom and whether I was good enough. I would see other moms and I would just watch them or study them. I always felt like everybody was doing it right but me. I think for a long time I just thought it was only me that got frustrated and scared. Even though I would read other blogs, there was a part of me that felt like people were lying. I know that sounds strange but I thought that nobody else went through it like me. I have always had a tough time staying in the moment. I would get so scared of the what ifs that it would actually stop me from participating in life. I think when Max turned one, for some reason, I turned one in a strange way too. I feel like there was a part of me that started to let go. I started to open up inside of hiding my mommy emotions. It has been really different for me. I have become a better mom. I think I have always been an amazing mom to Max but I think I did not feel it. Today Max’s doctor, Daphne Goldberg, told me that I am one of the best and most attentive mothers that she has ever met. She told me once before but today I said..YEAH I KNOW. It felt great to believe her and believe myself. I also notice that I am not taking Max’s behavior personally anymore. When Max has a tantrum, it is because he is tired and it is just because he is a baby. I used to get really upset and frustrated. Now I just look at him and say-it is tough being a baby. As for Max, he is 32 inches and 24.8 pounds. I am only 4’11 and 3/4. I actually lean to one side when I carry him.