I am so overdue on this letter but better late than never. Wow-this has been a tough month for you. Let me see-first an ER trip with a 105.5 temp to the Southern Ocean County Hospital, then a case of Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease, then a yeast infection and then  spider bite that landed us in Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia but you are fine, tired but fine. I have to say that despite being sick-especially the high fever, (which scared your mom and dad so much), you were still your wild free loving self. And let me also say that the drive to the ER from Barnegat Light on Long Beach Island was 45 minutes and it was the longest drive for me EVER. I was so scared but you were fine and you are good now.

I have also come to learn that my mom says we are exactly alike in personality. I did know this when I saw how independent you are…I just had that feeling that the “apple did not fall too far from the tree”.

You are talking so much. You call all dogs ESTHER because our dog is named Esther. You now say MOMMY and I love it. It warms my heart. You also say NO constantly and Bad. OH Geez. You love to say no and move your finger back and forth like I do-I swear little girl-you will cause me to gray early. You have a fire that cannot be squashed and a  personality that is louder than life.

You love your babies, strollers, cell phones, bags and most of all SHOES! You want to sleep in your shoes and wear them all of the time It is so funny. You hate getting your hair brushed, but love putting lotion on yourself and by the way-you even enjoy eating shea butter..you are so funny. You love to brush your teeth and splash in the water. You love to read books and dance on them too. You love to dance and sing.

You still love PIZZA more than any other food. We also call you swiper because you like to eat anything that anyone else is eating. It is hysterical. You prefer to eat with your fist, hands, fingers…you love to dip and you would bathe in marinara sauce if you were allowed..you love sweets too..anything that is candy and you beg for Omega DHA balls daily.

You love Max & Ruby, Curious George and Shrek. You enjoy TV but you really love to play. You love anything that has animals as one of your favorite movies is about a cat and dog, Milo & Otis. You basically love life. Your Dad and I always joke that your brother wants to create the party but you want to be the party. I love you so much. I love your zest for life and the fire inside of you. I love that you refuse to sit in a cart and that I cannot food shop with you because you have to walk. You are teaching me so much about how to tame a wild and beautiful little girl. Don’t change ever but understand that life does have rules. I love you little one!

Max has been doing amazing. His speech is doubling by the day and he now can use 5 words in a sentence. His teachers are amazed and so are we. It is so funny the things that come out of his mouth. He is also starting to use the potty. We have been asking for a while but he had no interest and then last week he went pee 5 times and today he went pee at school on the potty. Such a big boy.

Max’s party was an absolute success. We had so much fun and even the dad’s were having a blast. We had it at this bounce place and the kids jumped and bounced and just had a great time. It was funny to watch because all the kids hit a wall at 45 minutes where they were sweating and just plain exhausted. They were all ready for some food and yummy allergy free, egg free cup cakes.

I am glad the month of December is over and I am hoping for a great year. A year where I can learn to  let go a little more and enjoy the grace in my life. I have an amazing family, a new career path, and a good life. I am thinking 2010 will be wonderful.

Do your kids ever look at the camera? HAHA

Happy 3rd birthday. It has been a month of gifts. Hanukkah started last friday and since then there has been a gift a night not to mention the gifts that have arrived from family and friends. As you can see by the pic above, this is what you have  looked like everyday and it has not stopped. You asked for presents and gifts constantly and today I actually had to say that soon there will be no gifts for a year. I guess it is a tough concept to explain because then you cried for 40 mins. I guess today was not the day to say that or explain that you have it REALLY good.

Today is your official birthday and we celebrated with your family. We were supposed to have your big party at Bouncetown but the snow storm of 2009 wrecked our plans. So it snowed and you had a ton of fun yesterday playing in the snow, so I guess that was a pretty cool way to start the birthday weekend. As for me, I shed some tears because I had done all the planning and wanted you to have such a fun day but I let it go by 7:30 am and then just enjoyed the day. So in total we got about 22 inches or more and it was the first time you ever saw this much snow and thankfully I bought you snow gear this year-but forgot boots so you wore rain boots that your MIMI bought you. I am am mom and moms tend to forget at least one thing. You shoveled snow with your dad three times and we went sledding for as long as you and your sister could handle it..about 45 mins and then came inside and ate some muffins.

You are chatting up a storm and saying the funniest things. Your aunt told you the other day that you are handsome and you said, I KNOW! I cracked up laughing. You are still a jokester and love to make people laugh. You love to play games and play little tricks on people and then say..JUST KIDDING. You are funny and really enjoy being the center of attention when you are comfortable. You can now break dance or at least that is what we call  it-I guess you could also call it the happy dance. Daddy showed you the move at the end where you hold you arms across your body and almost hug yourself like all the break dancers did and you look so cute doing it.

You love school and you are learning so much being there. I am amazed daily. You told me NO THANK YOU the other day when i asked about if you wanted a burger for lunch. You are learning so much at Montessori school, basically how to be a good person in the world and how to love yourself and others.

You are still very tender and very loving. I am so lucky that you are this sweet. You are such an amazing big brother. You love to cuddle, snuggle, kiss, hug but you are also ALL boy. You love trucks, airplanes, trains, helicopters, balls, and anything that can crash into something. You love football and of course you love the EAGLES, Phillies home team. You are enjoying dressing up as  super heros these days and astronauts (our current costumes in the house). As of right now, Bob the Builder rules in your mind..Curious George still has a place in your heart and you sleep with a stuffed anaimal curious george but Bob is the best!

It has been an interesting month with doing the amy yasko protocol. I have been detoxing your gut and supplementing your organs to protect them from the detox. I am even giving you B12 shots in your butt and you are doing great. You are detoxing but you are still smiling. You speech teacher thinks you have 600 words, which is amazing since you said 0 words in March 2009. I just adore you and so does your Dad. You are loved by so many people and so many people say that you are so special and handsome of course. Just don’t ever stop exploring. I love that you always want to find out the answer. Don’t stop looking. I love you kiddo!

Love, Mommy

Dear Samantha,

I look at this picture and it seemed like it was yesterday but ti was so long ago. You were 2 weeks old in the picture and now you are a little girl, a little girl who is one years old. You are not that baby anymore but you are still my baby girl.

You are full of life and full of personality. You love to dance and you love to sing. I find you often singing “The Wheels on the Bus” and making the SHHHH noise that the mom says and then saying RRROOUUU for the wheels on the bus go round. You love to splash in the tub. You actually splash so much that you tend to cough but it does not stop you..sometimes you even make your brother whine begging you to stop but that does not stop you. I guess that is a huge part of your personality-you are such a strong driving force. You are sweet and cuddly. You are tough and feisty. You are such a special girl.

Sometimes you are serious…and you have such a determined look

BUT MOST OF THE TIMES YOU ARE LAUGHING AND SMILING…

You are cruising everywhere and you can climb an entire set of stairs. You still don’t love foods but you do eat tons of squash and a lot of yogurt. You enjoy carrots and parsnips as well. You love your bottle and you love your crib. You are just such a sweet little girl. You always giggle and you love to play.

I remember the moment I met you. I had no idea that life with you would be so grand. I had no idea you would be so different than your bother in personality. I am so lucky to have you. I am so lucky to watch you grow. I am so lucky you are my little girl. You have taught me so much about myself and have forced me to be a better woman. I guess having a little girl has made me want to be a FULL woman full of self esteem and love for herself so that I can that to you. Thank you so much! You are loved so much by so many. happy Birthday Samantha!!

Love, Mommy

We did it the Saturday after Thanksgiving so our family could be there and it was a nice way to end Thanksgiving. Baby Sam loved all the attention and she looked adorable in her pink and gray party outfit. She has these little leggings that had an adorable bubble skirt with poka dots. Adorable.

Samantha helped open her gifts, which included some first play with me dolls and some pajamas and a fun toy where balls went into a funnel and then you watched them travel across to another tunnel. Very cool stuff. Mostly it was fun just watching family together and celebrating our little girl.

Max enjoyed cake with his cousin Abigail (she is one he is also kissing in pictures at family celebrations-they adore each other).

I think Max was a little shocked that it was not his b day party but he got used to the idea-I guess having their birthdays one week apart can be confusing for a little guy but he got real happy soon when the cake came out!

Happy Soon to be birthday little girl in just 1 day!! !! We love you!!

First off, you had two ear infections that ended up in a dose of your first antibiotics. We tried everything natural but nothing worked, so it what we had to do but Momma has been giving you a probiotic everyday to make sure that your digestive system still has enough good bateria. You are such a good baby that nobody would have even known that you had an ear infection but I am your momma and I knew. You wre waking up so often and having such a tough time going to sleep that I knew somethign was not right.

As for other firsts, you just stoof on your own for 3 seconds yesterday and then today for a total of 5 seconds. You are so funny because I knew you wanted momma to be able to say that you had done it by the time you were 10 months old. You are so proud of yourself. I am proud of you.

You had your first haricut by momma’s friend Danielle and eventhough you were not very happy, you did love all of the compliments. Momma saved all of your hair in an envelope in your baby book.

You also have discovered toilet paper and the toilet. You love to slam the toilet and you love to pull all of the toilet paper of the holder and play with it. Momma had tried to explain to you that we need to not waste the toilet paper, so momma rolls all of it up and stuffs in the holder so we can use it again.

This month you have really become very social. At music class, you love to sit in the middle of the circle and watch Miss Sally play and sing. You even let the teachers pick you up and show other mommies and babies how to sing the song.

Momma went and bought you new clothes and I bought size 12 to 18 months. Wow, you are growing up so fast.

You continue to explore. You continue to show us how adventurous you are just like your momma.

You love your new car that Daddy bought and everyday we garden and put veggies in your car and then we get the mail. You are so good at your jobs.

As for your crawing, you are very fast. If i turn my head for one second-you are already gone. You seem to be attracted to everything that is not good for you, such as wires and outlets.

This month we travled to Chicago, your second time on a plane, and you were so good. You are such a great travel baby. You cried for 10 minutes total on the way home because a lady woke you up.

As you get older day by day, I love you even more. I still remember that day you were born and I first held you in my arms and I first looked into your eyes-that moment is in my heart and in my soul. Max, you are my best buddy. You are the joy in our life. You are so loved by your parents and grandparents and great grandparents. I cannot describe in words the amount of love I have for you. All is can say is that Momma loves you more than anything in the world. Happy Birthday Sweetie.

Love,

Momma

As usual, I have nothing to worry about and it will be so much fun but I still worry. What do I worry about? Anything and everything?
The whys, the shoulds, the coulds and to top it off, we did not sleep again. I know it was my fault because I had some chocolate (UGH STRESS) and then nursed the little one and well, he did not really go into to REM until 3 am. It was bad and I just wanted to cry but I made the best of it. After rocking him and realizing that it was not working, I brought him downstairs, made some chamomile tea-gave him a few droppers full and then sat and watched Big Brother after Dark on Showtime.

So it was not horrible but today I feel like i am on the verge of a mental breakdown-I actually shed a few tears this morning. I just feel empty.

Hopefully, tonight will be better because I just need good rest and then I am all better.

It has been such a huge month for you and for us. We moved this month to a house with a big yard. You were such a great baby the day of the move as you watched the movers take all of our stuff out of our old house. You even blessed me with taking a nap on the way to our new house.

You have learned how to roll from your back to your front, and you have even pulled yourself up twice. You have managed to almost sink yourself in the bath because you are so anxious to explore the tub. Everything ends up in your mouth still. You take pleausre in the simple things and you still laugh at everything. You are still a very calm and content baby. People always say, Oh what a happy baby.

You went o work with Mommy this month and played on the floor for 2 hours. It was so much fun to have you at work and everybody loved oyu as well. Of course.

This month you have started to bite Mommy’s boob while nursing. Ouch! So I had a long talk with you today about bein nice to the boobs since they feed you. HEHE

You are really enjoying mysic class and you especially love when we play the drums. You have become a happy traveler in your car seat, which is your new Britax. You stare out the window and most days that are not too hot, I open the window so you can watch the world. You are still my little professor because you love to watch the world. You have the eyes of an old soul but the heart of a yound and innocent baby.

You also started to play with your penis, whenever you have the chance..at bath, at a diaper changing, or anytime your diaper is off. We have a very special relationship and I have begun to explain to you how you will never understand how much I love you until you have your own child to love but that is FAR AWAY.

I still love nursing you and kissing you on the forhead as you close your eyes and enjoy lifes milk. You are a sweet little boy who is growing so fast in front of my eyes. I remember I arrives at the hospital now 7 months ago today and I was already 8 cm and then you arrived less than 3 hours later. Youn took one look at me and one look at my boob and you started nursing and have not stopped since that day. You are my heart and my spirit. I love you. Thank you for giving me you.

Happy 7 Month Birthday my sweet little boy.

Love,

Mama

Happy Birthday. In these past two months we have watched you grow. WE have watched your little fingers grow and your feet grow and your little body get chubbier. We have watched you laugh at your Sesame Street Elmo Gym and laugh at Mommy and Daddy when we make funny noises. We love watching you so amazed by the little things in life such as a fan on the ceiling or the flashing lights on the the Ben Franklin bridge or the fire burning in the fire place.

You love to play and you love to listen to music. Your favorite music is Louie Prima and we pplay it duing bath time and night time dance. You also love to listen every morning when Mommy takes a shower and she puts you on the floor and you kick your legs and laugh.

You smile and laugh when Stan & Esther kiss and lick your face, hands and feet.

You are such a good baby and people always comments on how well behaved you are. You still like to cry at 5:45 pm and then you settle down and then we go up to bath time at 6:15 to 6:45 pm because you LOVE taking a bath. Then you and Mommy dance under the heating lamp so that you are not too cold.

There are so many things that I wanted to say to you today but all I can say..is that my world, your Daddy’s world would not be the same without you. You have comepleted our life in so many ways.

We love you Max Benjamin.