My dearest boy,So much has happened this month. You are officially walking and it has been wonderful to watch you take it slow. When you first realized you could walk, you would laugh so hard while you were walking that you would fall. It was glorious because it was so you. You have taught me to laugh hard again because I see how much you enjoy life.You are still such a sweet kisser and hugger. Every morning you kiss Esther, your Pug dog, mouth wide open and give her a hug. You also do this with me and your Daddy. You have become very good friends with Shannon, your babysitter, well she is more like an aunt to you and a family member to us. It is wonderful that she loves you so much. I feel like you have changed so much and turned into a little boy in front of my eyes. I think you realized you grew up because you started letting me feed you with a spoon again. It was almost like you did not need to tell us anymore-you knew we knew. You are now sleeping on a mattress on the floor and you love it. I listened to you. I knew you hated to be confined and so now you are really a big boy.  This month we battled another ear infection but we won. We went and saw the accupuncturist, the chinese herbalist and the herbalist. I was hoping one of the methods would work and they did. I would do anything to keep you off of antibiotics because I love you and I love the flora in your stomach.You are into everything and you love climbing. I always joke that you bump your head at least 8 times before 8 am. But you are you and you have a thirst for exploring.I started Reiki class this month and it is no coincidence that you now grab my hands and put them to the ear that is still clogged with wax. You are so intuitive, just like your momma. Maxie: this month I think we both grew up and that is the beauty of life, we are all reborn daily in our own way. You have taught me to see again-actually you have taught me to just open my eyes. I love you more than you will ever know. You will only know this love when you have your own baby. As I am writing this email, I am having chills because my love for you is so deep that I can feel it in my bones.Maxie: Never stop exploring. 

Well Max, it has been a HUGE month for you. So many new things have happened.

First off, you had two ear infections that ended up in a dose of your first antibiotics. We tried everything natural but nothing worked, so it what we had to do but Momma has been giving you a probiotic everyday to make sure that your digestive system still has enough good bateria. You are such a good baby that nobody would have even known that you had an ear infection but I am your momma and I knew. You wre waking up so often and having such a tough time going to sleep that I knew somethign was not right.

As for other firsts, you just stoof on your own for 3 seconds yesterday and then today for a total of 5 seconds. You are so funny because I knew you wanted momma to be able to say that you had done it by the time you were 10 months old. You are so proud of yourself. I am proud of you.

You had your first haricut by momma’s friend Danielle and eventhough you were not very happy, you did love all of the compliments. Momma saved all of your hair in an envelope in your baby book.

You also have discovered toilet paper and the toilet. You love to slam the toilet and you love to pull all of the toilet paper of the holder and play with it. Momma had tried to explain to you that we need to not waste the toilet paper, so momma rolls all of it up and stuffs in the holder so we can use it again.

This month you have really become very social. At music class, you love to sit in the middle of the circle and watch Miss Sally play and sing. You even let the teachers pick you up and show other mommies and babies how to sing the song.

Momma went and bought you new clothes and I bought size 12 to 18 months. Wow, you are growing up so fast.

You continue to explore. You continue to show us how adventurous you are just like your momma.

You love your new car that Daddy bought and everyday we garden and put veggies in your car and then we get the mail. You are so good at your jobs.

As for your crawing, you are very fast. If i turn my head for one second-you are already gone. You seem to be attracted to everything that is not good for you, such as wires and outlets.

This month we travled to Chicago, your second time on a plane, and you were so good. You are such a great travel baby. You cried for 10 minutes total on the way home because a lady woke you up.

As you get older day by day, I love you even more. I still remember that day you were born and I first held you in my arms and I first looked into your eyes-that moment is in my heart and in my soul. Max, you are my best buddy. You are the joy in our life. You are so loved by your parents and grandparents and great grandparents. I cannot describe in words the amount of love I have for you. All is can say is that Momma loves you more than anything in the world. Happy Birthday Sweetie.

Love,

Momma

Yes my hubby’s b day is today and tomorrow we are having a party with tons of kids and friends and food. And yes, I am nervous as usual because I just start to get such anxiety around these types of events. So I ate and ate and ate and ate and kept eating but that did not work. UGH and ARF.

As usual, I have nothing to worry about and it will be so much fun but I still worry. What do I worry about? Anything and everything?
The whys, the shoulds, the coulds and to top it off, we did not sleep again. I know it was my fault because I had some chocolate (UGH STRESS) and then nursed the little one and well, he did not really go into to REM until 3 am. It was bad and I just wanted to cry but I made the best of it. After rocking him and realizing that it was not working, I brought him downstairs, made some chamomile tea-gave him a few droppers full and then sat and watched Big Brother after Dark on Showtime.

So it was not horrible but today I feel like i am on the verge of a mental breakdown-I actually shed a few tears this morning. I just feel empty.

Hopefully, tonight will be better because I just need good rest and then I am all better.

My dearest Max,

It has been such a huge month for you and for us. We moved this month to a house with a big yard. You were such a great baby the day of the move as you watched the movers take all of our stuff out of our old house. You even blessed me with taking a nap on the way to our new house.

You have learned how to roll from your back to your front, and you have even pulled yourself up twice. You have managed to almost sink yourself in the bath because you are so anxious to explore the tub. Everything ends up in your mouth still. You take pleausre in the simple things and you still laugh at everything. You are still a very calm and content baby. People always say, Oh what a happy baby.

You went o work with Mommy this month and played on the floor for 2 hours. It was so much fun to have you at work and everybody loved oyu as well. Of course.

This month you have started to bite Mommy’s boob while nursing. Ouch! So I had a long talk with you today about bein nice to the boobs since they feed you. HEHE

You are really enjoying mysic class and you especially love when we play the drums. You have become a happy traveler in your car seat, which is your new Britax. You stare out the window and most days that are not too hot, I open the window so you can watch the world. You are still my little professor because you love to watch the world. You have the eyes of an old soul but the heart of a yound and innocent baby.

You also started to play with your penis, whenever you have the chance..at bath, at a diaper changing, or anytime your diaper is off. We have a very special relationship and I have begun to explain to you how you will never understand how much I love you until you have your own child to love but that is FAR AWAY.

I still love nursing you and kissing you on the forhead as you close your eyes and enjoy lifes milk. You are a sweet little boy who is growing so fast in front of my eyes. I remember I arrives at the hospital now 7 months ago today and I was already 8 cm and then you arrived less than 3 hours later. Youn took one look at me and one look at my boob and you started nursing and have not stopped since that day. You are my heart and my spirit. I love you. Thank you for giving me you.

Happy 7 Month Birthday my sweet little boy.

Love,

Mama

Max

Happy Birthday. In these past two months we have watched you grow. WE have watched your little fingers grow and your feet grow and your little body get chubbier. We have watched you laugh at your Sesame Street Elmo Gym and laugh at Mommy and Daddy when we make funny noises. We love watching you so amazed by the little things in life such as a fan on the ceiling or the flashing lights on the the Ben Franklin bridge or the fire burning in the fire place.

You love to play and you love to listen to music. Your favorite music is Louie Prima and we pplay it duing bath time and night time dance. You also love to listen every morning when Mommy takes a shower and she puts you on the floor and you kick your legs and laugh.

You smile and laugh when Stan & Esther kiss and lick your face, hands and feet.

You are such a good baby and people always comments on how well behaved you are. You still like to cry at 5:45 pm and then you settle down and then we go up to bath time at 6:15 to 6:45 pm because you LOVE taking a bath. Then you and Mommy dance under the heating lamp so that you are not too cold.

There are so many things that I wanted to say to you today but all I can say..is that my world, your Daddy’s world would not be the same without you. You have comepleted our life in so many ways.

We love you Max Benjamin.