So much to tell. You have turned into a little girl right before my eyes  this month. You babble, say words, walk with ease, carry your baby around and ask for your favorite movies. You can say the following words: Max, Ma Ma, Da Da Ba for bottle, Hi, Bye Bye, Re-for remote, ruff ruff, Do for Dog and more. I am sure there are others but those are the ones that I can make out currently.

You love to point at everything and you give this look..I know you are asking me WHY? I can see the future already..so many questions and so many answers. I have a feeling that you will always want to know the answer just like your momma.

You have been cutting two teeth this month-a molar on the bottom right and a tooth on the bottom right and I swear I feel a bump on the bottom left. OUCH. We actually had to give you motrin for a few days but things seemed to have calmed down since the tooth broke through. Poor baby. Teething stinks!

You are so sweet and so much fun. You love to play with blocks and you love to put things inside of other things. You enjoy playing with the little kitchen we have in the playroom. Every morning we go downstairs and you sit on this big bean bag and watch MILO and OTIS-a movie about a PUG and  CAT while I work out. You play and watch me and we sing songs..even though I can barely catch my breath as I am running.

You enjoy empty vitamin bottles, water bottles, and anything that is not a toy. You still love to sing and dance and enjoy yourself the most when music is playing. You are shy to a degree but the minute you warm up..you are chatty and dancing.

You were able to see two huge storms that totaled almost 40 inches here in Philadelphia and that is unheard of but you witnessed it and we had a lot of fun playing outside. You loved going down the hill with your Daddy, as I know you are such Daddy’s little girl. And by the way, he loves you so much too!

You still love to snuggle despite how independent you are and I love that. You have very curly hair, especially the day after we wash your hair and it reminds of the curls I had when I was your age.

Your favorite movie is SHREK. You have a little couch inf ront of the TV and you will sit there until your favorite scene and then you must go to the TV and watch close up..it can’t be good for your eyes but it is what you do and it is adorable.

You are doing great with your food and pooping..both subjects we talk about in this house a lot due to allergies. I think this protocol that we have had you on since November is working and we are addressing some issues that are finally getting your tummy in good order. You love squash, home made banana muffins, rice, apples, pears, carrots and kefir. I also give you a litle cultured veggies each week to help with your digestion and gut..we are just so happy that you are pooping daily. You are also on a homeopathic remedy called SULFUR, which is helping you to process the sulfur better in your little body-hoping that you will have less reactions wot foods with sulfur and almost every food has sulfur.

So things are good with you and you are just such a blessing in my life. I never knew how amazing it would be to have a girl. You have taught me so much about myself. I see my fire in you and I see that part of you that is a little volcano when you don’t get your way-kicking and screaming on the floor but then-I show you cups ands blocks and it is all over. You are a great kid and everybody that sees you just says you have so much personality and so much to say already.

Ever since you learned to walk, you are just so happy and you love to explore and hide and play games. You are playing great with your brother and you guys have a lot of fun together. We adore you. I guess there is not much more to say than that. Thank you for being my daughter.

Love you tons,

Mommmy

The good thing is that we have all these tests coming back and we are starting Dr, Amy Yasko’s protocol to get the methylation process in the body working efficiently. I knwo it sounds complicated and it is. There is a part of me that know in the end we are all going to be fine but I also know that something is going on in Max’s body that effects him on so many levels and we are working hard to figure it out.

I finally feel like somebody is giving me a plan and that feels so good. I cannot tell you how often I worry-24/7. It is hard to explain to anyone who does not have an allergenic kid what it is like to worry about allergies. But like I said, it is not anything that is killing him and that is where I need to get grateful. I just sometimes get jealous of people who don’t need to worry about food or allergies.

Luckily we found this doctor and our doctor Daphne Goldberg will help us to navigate. I also have another doctor named  Dr. Joe Carcetti advising me on the genetic stuff as well. So all in all we are good. I just have felt tired these last few days and just needed a break. Between school, which takes up about 4 or 5 hours and week and the kids and day light savings, which has the kids now up between 5 am and 6 am, I am tired.

I am fine but I am tired. Ok just need to vent and say SCREW DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME-WE ARE NO LONGER FARMERS-WHO NEEDS THE CHANGE IN TIME!! Thanks feel better now!

So here is another one of Max and his cars!

And here is another one of my little girl who is always striking a pose for the camera!

And there is the typical morning in my house!

And then there is a typical Sunday. Go Eagles!

So we are all doing much better. Sam is fine and it toughened her up. Max is loving school and I think he enjoys the constant schedule and attention he gets there. We went to the chinese herbalist and she gave him a formula for Qi stagnation, clearing the heat and calming the spirit. He started to eat again. Yeah! I think I will take the baby next week. I am also doing NAET with him, which is a technique used to help clear allergies and intolerances. We cleared Eggs and chicken the other day and we will go back next week for another treatment. I did this when he was young but hopefully it will take this time.

I am almost done with my cold. I hate being sick. Good news is that the pill is regulating me and the doctor thinks that in 3 months I will be back to normal (whatever that is). I have also been doing a liver cleanse and I it has been hard to give up my huge bowl of popcorn at night (it is so my comfort food). At this point, I cannot give up that one cup of organic coffee in the am. I know I should but I cannot so for now, this is the best I can do. Lets see if by this week I have the willingness t give up my soy milk in my coffee, which is so my comfort food too. I love creamy anything!

So then I got pregnant with Samantha after having 2 periods and bam I was pregnant again. But this time my hormones were insane right after I gave birth. We thought was it B-12 deficiency, Folic Acid, Anemia, Candida, Anxiety, Rashes, Hives, Allergies, of and now I have angioedema, which is severe swellings and welts after I eat something I am allergic to. I looked like the OCTO MOM the other day. My lip swelled up so much and this has happened for the past 2 years on and off and now more on. Crazy thing is that I am in amazing shape and back to my pre pregnancy weight. BUT my body is wacked and I dont know why. Monday I have an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. We just got back my estrogen level and my doctor said that my body has the estrogen level of a pregnant woman and NO i am not pregant. So what the F__K?

So there it is. I am annoyed and crying and yelling and angry all in one minute. It stinks but I am trying to stay positive in the midst of having every crazy emotion. So be prepared for a lot more talk about my hormones. Coming soon are pics of Max’s first day at school. yeah I felt that crappy that I could not even post about it.

You are totally a beach boy. We have been down the shore for almost a month and you love it. You wake up early in the morning, watch a little TV, go for a run in the stroller with your sister and me, get your bathing suit on and the rest is history. Your day is filled with playing in the baby pool, the beach, fun games, watching endless games of dominos and Gin, getting pulled in the wagon and trips to the produce stand and the market. This is your life these days. You seem to love the one street living laid back  attitude at the beach.

You are a great big brother but you do not really like sharing your toys with your sister. You will share toys that you are not interested in playing with but the ones that she is playing with all of the sudden become the ones you want. We are really trying to help you learn this valuable tool of sharing with your sister and sometimes you do it and sometimes it produces a full on tantrum. Sharing is tough and you are very intelligent because you try and do the bait and switch..you will actually dangle a toy in front of her face and make a really happy face so that she will want it and usually you do this with a toy that is not enough a toy like a fricken napkin or something like that…you are such a salesman already.

But you are an amazing brother and you have so much fun playing with Sam already. You also love to sit on her, push her over, kiss her till she screams and lay on top of her. These are all things that we try and explain can hurt her because she is little but she loves it because you are paying attention to her. 

Your allergies are much better. You are officially chicken, turkey, dairy, egg, wheat, gluten, oat, corn and soy free not to mention garlic and a few other fruits. I know it sounds like a crazy diet but you pretty much eat whole foods and nothing processed. I am going to try chicken in a month or so because I have a feeling that you were allergic to the garlic in your nitrate free hot dog and not the chicken but we will see. I guess you are lucky because I have to eat the same way. Crazy huh? bad allergies but adorable..this is our family motto.

Your talking is constant. Ever since we figured out your allergies, well you talk non stop. You love to say STOP and DON”T. You also love to say I DO and I Help and I pool and me too! You also love to say Cook and what you want to eat. You also love to tell me that Daddy is at work or where you daddy is and so on. You went from 0 words at the end of March to about 60 words. We are so excited for you. We also know that your talking is directly related to your allergies and know that your brain can works properly you are talking so much.

You are growing up so fast. I feel like you are such a little man. You watch everything and you don’t miss a thing. If you think that it should not be that way-you tell us. I see such a strong personality in you. Just like your Dad and myself, you always want to see if you can do it. You are obsessed with pulling or pushing your wagon or a blow up boat or something heavy because you want to see if you can do it. You grunt and bend over and use your legs..you remind me of me. You have this inner strength that is unstoppable. 

Well Max, we have out times these days because you are a toddler but I always love you and I am always amazed at how my love increases daily for you. I am the first born in my family and I know that bond that I have with my mom because I was the first. I have this with you too. You and I have figured things out along the way with each other and I am so lucky that you have walked this journey with me. This is just the beginning. I love you so much.

Love, Your Mom

I am enjoying the beach a lot but I do miss my friends and our routine at home. I know it sound crazy. I LOVE the beach and  I am having such a great time as a family but some days I just miss the known.

The hubby and I really needed this or I really needed this. I needed to remember why I fell in love with him. We have been laughing and hanging out and smooching-all things that had not happened a lot in the past 7 months. I just did not have any energy at night after the kids went to sleep and basically I just wanted to be alone. So it has been great. We have date night every Tuesday night.

Max’s allergies are better. I am finally realizing what works and what does not. Basically he eats a very plain whole food diet which consists of beef, veal, lamb, rice, fruits, veggies and well that is about it. I have been experimenting making ice cream for him. It is tough but it is tougher when he has rashes on his face and genital, tantrums, and stops talking. I always know when he has a slight reaction because his mood changes instantly. Today I am making vanilla ice cream,  I will let you know how it goes. I made banana but he did not like the texture so I am sticking with basic vanilla. 

Sam is doing great. She is back to sleeping through the night. She sleeps 6:45 pm to 6 or 6:30 am. Not bad. She still refuses to eat and I am trusting her body. I am convinced that if I would have delayed Max’s food then maybe he wold have less allergies. her body just can’t tolerate food. Everything I give her, she has a reaction so for now, just formula.

Max’s speech is so good. he is adding words daily and it is so funny to hear what is on his mind. We are so proud of him. I know the food is directly related to his speech. Thank goodness we realized this.

We had family and then friends for an entire week and i think it was a lot for me. We had a great time with my folks, then my MIL, then friends from Europe but at the end I felt like I was empty. I think it was just having everyone back to back. I was kind of bitchy the last few days and I think I just need a really good run or some quiet time for myself. We have friends coming again this weekend but it is our acupuncturist, also godmother to our kids and her family, and she is bringing needles. YEAH I am going to have acupuncture. I am so damn excited. So next time I will not plan everyone back to back and do a better job taking care of myself. 

He just like me has many foods that he has a very low response to and we must rotate them. I was pretty similar in my test. So Max is eating just plain whole foods and I am sure you are thinking what is he or myself going to eat. Luckily he loves burgers and so I can make beef and lamb and rotate them and give him bacon for breakfast. He needs to not ever eat eggs and for the other foods he cannot have them for anywhere from 3 to 9 months depending on the severity of his IgG response.

I feel so lucky that we did this test, yes overwhelmed, but lucky. Max has so many of my similar allergies and he is so little. I know it will make him feel so much better when he is feeling less allergic. We are hoping that his body will grow out of some of these allergies if he is not eating them for a while but I have a feeling that the wheat, gluten and soy will always be an issue and he will have to learn as he gets older that if he eats this stuff he won’t feel well. 

I even bought him potato chips yesterday and looked at the ingredients and saw safflower and threw them out. I know when he has an allergy because he usually throws and temper tantrum and has no patience and is very emotional. Sometimes the allergy is not just in a rash..it is subtle and sometimes it is the color of his face or the red under his eyes. 

Yes, this is hard and I am glad I did not do this 6 months ago because I would have lost it and felt so overwhelmed but now-well we will deal with it and move on. At least we know.

The good thing is that it has motivated me to start making different things for him to have like banana ice cream and muffins and corn bread and pancakes. So we will just take it day by day.

Max started having a horrible diaper rash and finally I put together that it was yeast. He had this type of red hot and pimply rash when he was about 13 months. What made me think it was yeast was the rash on his cheek and the sensitivities to foods he east all of the time. Again, this all happens to me daily.

There is no point for me to take Max to an allergist because he does not show up on some skin tests for allergies but I know he is intolerant. So hopefully this blood test will be better and many trips to the homeopath and chinese herbalist.

I know I am lucky that my kids are healthy and that we may all have a slight immune system issue that allows candida to grown in our body but still it is hard. I feel like I am constantly worrying about his food, the environment, his speech and well vaccines. Max had that vaccine a few weeks ago and he turned into a different little guy for 2 weeks. The language regressed and it was scary. I do not think that all kids are like this. Some kids eat cheetos all day, get 4 shots a the doctors and are fine and some kids are more sensitive. I have sensitive kids and I need to be careful with them and at the same time I need to feel like Max is also immunized to some deadly diseases. It is so tricky and I wish the US would green our vaccines.

Sam is doing good on nystatin. The thrush has cleared but her GI is not healthy yet. I tried brown rice cereal and for the last two night she has been up crying and slept in her swing and I slept on the couch. 

I guess I just needed to vent. Who knows what Sam will be allergic to but I know that I can handle anything.

In an attempt to help the constipation, which may have been partly due to the transition to only formula, I pumped. When I got out 5 ounces in the am and then 5 ounces 5 hours later, I thought things would be fine. I would pump again, at least till solids, and I would find a woman to buy some of her breast milk. One of my dearest blogger friends in NYC helped me so much by email. She also offered to come and stay with me and help me to pump more efficiently and possibly get Sam back on the breast. So I was going to do it. I made an apt with a lactation consultant and dragged both kids to a lactation center and WOW DID I FEEL LIKE A GREAT MOM. I also was talking with our doctor, Daphne Goldberg.who knows what I would do without her in my life.

BUT Then there was no more milk. I had spoked with our family doctor, also there pediatrician, who is a huge breast feeding advocate and co-sleeper, and we were  back to where we started in our last conversation. It would kill me to keep pumping. I have been struggling since I got pregnant with depletion issues. It did not really effect me until I started breast feeding her. I take about 50 vitamins a day just to refill and 100 mg of iron, chinese herbs and homeopathy and many tests later and expensive trips to the nutritionist and herbalist and still I cannot get out of the ditch. I have struggled with candida and I am sure the leaky gut and back to back pregnancies and severe food allergies have made it hard for me to absorb nutrients. 

I think I needed this to happen for me to realize that emotionally I would do anything for my kids, even if it means sacrificing myself. I feel sad that my body failed me in this way but I also look at my kids, so close in age and realize that I would not have it any other way. It was suggested to me that I wait to get pregnant and replenish and deal with some issues to get me in good shape for pregnancy but I thought I would be fine. All in all compared to many people, I am really healthy but compared to my first pregnancy I just was depleted.

So my same friend in NYC also suggested Elecare, another hypoallergenic amino acid based formula for Samantha. I ordered it and it should be here today. I also canceled the lactation apt because yes, maybe I could have gotten Sam back on the boob but then I would not have been listening to my independent little girl because she chose the bottle. She did not reject me but she wanted her independence.

I am not sure what made her constipated. Was it my allergic milk at the end? the transition? who knows but I do know that it taught me a huge lesson and that is-there is a huge part of me that only feels needed in trauma and not just the easy going life..so I have been struggling with not feeling like a good mom and the truth is that my kids need me for everything and it does not have to be some traumatic event that makes me feel like a good mom. Geez, if I can do anything for my kids-it would be not to give them some of the trauma that happened in my childhood. So all in all-I listened t Sam, I found another formula, I learned about myself and I am doing my best to let go of my childhood crap and not inflict it on my kids.

Thanks to all for your support and love.

I thought Max would have a tough time without his cookies but he was fine. So now he snacks on potato chips, french fries, rice cakes, fruit and these oat bars that I buy from Odwalla. But I was crying my eyes out when were at the dcotors office-and thank goodness Max was not there to watch this. It was just the last straw and I lost it. Between the lice, the speech evaluation and the food-well I let go and boy the tears ran down my face. Not sure why but it just made me feel helpless. 

Of course there has been no word or letter attached to Max but hey he is our kid and I have my learning stuff and so does Scott but we found out way. I guess that it what I realized through all of this. We are no academics and we will never be but we have both made business choices that have been good for us. I was great selling real estate and going with my gut and scott is amazing at what he does. We found our way and so will Max but for now, we are going to support him to learn how to talk. A teacher will come once a week and then a speech pathologist will come every other week.

We had a speech evaluation for Max last week and let me just say it was stressful. The women who came over were amazing but it was still hard. They asked so many questions about Max and us and well, and I was reminded of my own struggles with audio perception and just how my brain learns. I always had a tough time in school because I did not learn like most kids. But once I fell in love with real estate, well it all clicked for me. I was great at math for the first time on my life and I felt smart for the first time in my life. I am hoping if we let our gut heal for the next 6 months free of all of this stuff then we will all feel better and it will allow Max’s brain to be wide open for learning.

So anyway, that is the news over here! What a week already.