Dearest Samantha,

So much to tell. You have turned into a little girl right before my eyes  this month. You babble, say words, walk with ease, carry your baby around and ask for your favorite movies. You can say the following words: Max, Ma Ma, Da Da Ba for bottle, Hi, Bye Bye, Re-for remote, ruff ruff, Do for Dog and more. I am sure there are others but those are the ones that I can make out currently.

You love to point at everything and you give this look..I know you are asking me WHY? I can see the future already..so many questions and so many answers. I have a feeling that you will always want to know the answer just like your momma.

You have been cutting two teeth this month-a molar on the bottom right and a tooth on the bottom right and I swear I feel a bump on the bottom left. OUCH. We actually had to give you motrin for a few days but things seemed to have calmed down since the tooth broke through. Poor baby. Teething stinks!

You are so sweet and so much fun. You love to play with blocks and you love to put things inside of other things. You enjoy playing with the little kitchen we have in the playroom. Every morning we go downstairs and you sit on this big bean bag and watch MILO and OTIS-a movie about a PUG and  CAT while I work out. You play and watch me and we sing songs..even though I can barely catch my breath as I am running.

You enjoy empty vitamin bottles, water bottles, and anything that is not a toy. You still love to sing and dance and enjoy yourself the most when music is playing. You are shy to a degree but the minute you warm up..you are chatty and dancing.

You were able to see two huge storms that totaled almost 40 inches here in Philadelphia and that is unheard of but you witnessed it and we had a lot of fun playing outside. You loved going down the hill with your Daddy, as I know you are such Daddy’s little girl. And by the way, he loves you so much too!

You still love to snuggle despite how independent you are and I love that. You have very curly hair, especially the day after we wash your hair and it reminds of the curls I had when I was your age.

Your favorite movie is SHREK. You have a little couch inf ront of the TV and you will sit there until your favorite scene and then you must go to the TV and watch close up..it can’t be good for your eyes but it is what you do and it is adorable.

You are doing great with your food and pooping..both subjects we talk about in this house a lot due to allergies. I think this protocol that we have had you on since November is working and we are addressing some issues that are finally getting your tummy in good order. You love squash, home made banana muffins, rice, apples, pears, carrots and kefir. I also give you a litle cultured veggies each week to help with your digestion and gut..we are just so happy that you are pooping daily. You are also on a homeopathic remedy called SULFUR, which is helping you to process the sulfur better in your little body-hoping that you will have less reactions wot foods with sulfur and almost every food has sulfur.

So things are good with you and you are just such a blessing in my life. I never knew how amazing it would be to have a girl. You have taught me so much about myself. I see my fire in you and I see that part of you that is a little volcano when you don’t get your way-kicking and screaming on the floor but then-I show you cups ands blocks and it is all over. You are a great kid and everybody that sees you just says you have so much personality and so much to say already.

Ever since you learned to walk, you are just so happy and you love to explore and hide and play games. You are playing great with your brother and you guys have a lot of fun together. We adore you. I guess there is not much more to say than that. Thank you for being my daughter.

Love you tons,

Mommmy

I try not to talk a lot about allergies and stuff like that because I also know that my kids are healthy in ways that other kids are not. But sometimes it is so hard. Both Max and myself are having allergies to foods that we typically do not and it is so frustrating. It is one thing to not feel well myself but when I see my kids suffering it is so hard. Max has been getting rashes on his testicles, ears, face and back. He has not been himself and looks a little gray. I just don’t know what it is and we have done so many tests, which is awesome but overwhelming. We started with this one doctor in chicago named Dr. Amy Yasko. She is doing genetic testing and it is really amazing her work. We did genetic testing for the whole family, a urine test for Max and a stool test for myself and the kids. The constant candida and GI issues with some adrenal issues with Max seem to just be effecting him one day and then the next day he is fine. Like I said, I try to keep perspective because my kids are so happy and they are so damn cute but something it just not right. I know the speech is part of it. I also know one of the genetic mutations we have in our family is the inability to detox properly and so any toxin, environment of food is just too much for us, but especially Max. You know I never know what it is-was it the introduction of food when he was 6 months, allergens in my breast milk, chronic candida, vaccines..all of it or maybe none of it.

The good thing is that we have all these tests coming back and we are starting Dr, Amy Yasko’s protocol to get the methylation process in the body working efficiently. I knwo it sounds complicated and it is. There is a part of me that know in the end we are all going to be fine but I also know that something is going on in Max’s body that effects him on so many levels and we are working hard to figure it out.

I finally feel like somebody is giving me a plan and that feels so good. I cannot tell you how often I worry-24/7. It is hard to explain to anyone who does not have an allergenic kid what it is like to worry about allergies. But like I said, it is not anything that is killing him and that is where I need to get grateful. I just sometimes get jealous of people who don’t need to worry about food or allergies.

Luckily we found this doctor and our doctor Daphne Goldberg will help us to navigate. I also have another doctor named  Dr. Joe Carcetti advising me on the genetic stuff as well. So all in all we are good. I just have felt tired these last few days and just needed a break. Between school, which takes up about 4 or 5 hours and week and the kids and day light savings, which has the kids now up between 5 am and 6 am, I am tired.

I am fine but I am tired. Ok just need to vent and say SCREW DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME-WE ARE NO LONGER FARMERS-WHO NEEDS THE CHANGE IN TIME!! Thanks feel better now!

After a full week of venting, I thought it would be good to share some pics!

So here is another one of Max and his cars!

And here is another one of my little girl who is always striking a pose for the camera!

And there is the typical morning in my house!

And then there is a typical Sunday. Go Eagles!

So we are all doing much better. Sam is fine and it toughened her up. Max is loving school and I think he enjoys the constant schedule and attention he gets there. We went to the chinese herbalist and she gave him a formula for Qi stagnation, clearing the heat and calming the spirit. He started to eat again. Yeah! I think I will take the baby next week. I am also doing NAET with him, which is a technique used to help clear allergies and intolerances. We cleared Eggs and chicken the other day and we will go back next week for another treatment. I did this when he was young but hopefully it will take this time.

I am almost done with my cold. I hate being sick. Good news is that the pill is regulating me and the doctor thinks that in 3 months I will be back to normal (whatever that is). I have also been doing a liver cleanse and I it has been hard to give up my huge bowl of popcorn at night (it is so my comfort food). At this point, I cannot give up that one cup of organic coffee in the am. I know I should but I cannot so for now, this is the best I can do. Lets see if by this week I have the willingness t give up my soy milk in my coffee, which is so my comfort food too. I love creamy anything!

Well I have not posted in the past few days because I just have not been feeling great. Of course I am running and taking care of the kids but by night time, I just want to sit and watch TV and not even write. Basically my hormones were messed up prior to the birth of Max. I had some elevated pituitary gland and the doctors thought that maybe I had a tumor-what fun! They all thought it would be hard to get pregnant so the night of our honeymoon we did not use a condom and bam-I was pregnant. I had a great pregnancy. Then my hormones started causing me issues when max was about 9 months but I did not know then that hormones were the culprit.

So then I got pregnant with Samantha after having 2 periods and bam I was pregnant again. But this time my hormones were insane right after I gave birth. We thought was it B-12 deficiency, Folic Acid, Anemia, Candida, Anxiety, Rashes, Hives, Allergies, of and now I have angioedema, which is severe swellings and welts after I eat something I am allergic to. I looked like the OCTO MOM the other day. My lip swelled up so much and this has happened for the past 2 years on and off and now more on. Crazy thing is that I am in amazing shape and back to my pre pregnancy weight. BUT my body is wacked and I dont know why. Monday I have an ultrasound of my uterus and ovaries. We just got back my estrogen level and my doctor said that my body has the estrogen level of a pregnant woman and NO i am not pregant. So what the F__K?

So there it is. I am annoyed and crying and yelling and angry all in one minute. It stinks but I am trying to stay positive in the midst of having every crazy emotion. So be prepared for a lot more talk about my hormones. Coming soon are pics of Max’s first day at school. yeah I felt that crappy that I could not even post about it.

My dearest boy,

You are totally a beach boy. We have been down the shore for almost a month and you love it. You wake up early in the morning, watch a little TV, go for a run in the stroller with your sister and me, get your bathing suit on and the rest is history. Your day is filled with playing in the baby pool, the beach, fun games, watching endless games of dominos and Gin, getting pulled in the wagon and trips to the produce stand and the market. This is your life these days. You seem to love the one street living laid back  attitude at the beach.

You are a great big brother but you do not really like sharing your toys with your sister. You will share toys that you are not interested in playing with but the ones that she is playing with all of the sudden become the ones you want. We are really trying to help you learn this valuable tool of sharing with your sister and sometimes you do it and sometimes it produces a full on tantrum. Sharing is tough and you are very intelligent because you try and do the bait and switch..you will actually dangle a toy in front of her face and make a really happy face so that she will want it and usually you do this with a toy that is not enough a toy like a fricken napkin or something like that…you are such a salesman already.

But you are an amazing brother and you have so much fun playing with Sam already. You also love to sit on her, push her over, kiss her till she screams and lay on top of her. These are all things that we try and explain can hurt her because she is little but she loves it because you are paying attention to her. 

Your allergies are much better. You are officially chicken, turkey, dairy, egg, wheat, gluten, oat, corn and soy free not to mention garlic and a few other fruits. I know it sounds like a crazy diet but you pretty much eat whole foods and nothing processed. I am going to try chicken in a month or so because I have a feeling that you were allergic to the garlic in your nitrate free hot dog and not the chicken but we will see. I guess you are lucky because I have to eat the same way. Crazy huh? bad allergies but adorable..this is our family motto.

Your talking is constant. Ever since we figured out your allergies, well you talk non stop. You love to say STOP and DON”T. You also love to say I DO and I Help and I pool and me too! You also love to say Cook and what you want to eat. You also love to tell me that Daddy is at work or where you daddy is and so on. You went from 0 words at the end of March to about 60 words. We are so excited for you. We also know that your talking is directly related to your allergies and know that your brain can works properly you are talking so much.

You are growing up so fast. I feel like you are such a little man. You watch everything and you don’t miss a thing. If you think that it should not be that way-you tell us. I see such a strong personality in you. Just like your Dad and myself, you always want to see if you can do it. You are obsessed with pulling or pushing your wagon or a blow up boat or something heavy because you want to see if you can do it. You grunt and bend over and use your legs..you remind me of me. You have this inner strength that is unstoppable. 

Well Max, we have out times these days because you are a toddler but I always love you and I am always amazed at how my love increases daily for you. I am the first born in my family and I know that bond that I have with my mom because I was the first. I have this with you too. You and I have figured things out along the way with each other and I am so lucky that you have walked this journey with me. This is just the beginning. I love you so much.

Love, Your Mom