Dearest Max,
Wow..I am I late this month but so much has happened. We are in the process of moving and not only has it been crazy insane but I also was just trying to finish nutrition school, get us finalized in Philly, pack us up, and shed so many tears..so I am late..very late and I write this post actually from our hotel room in Boca Raton, Florida (your new home town) because I want to write tell you all about how much you have changed and grown this month.
Transition has never been easy for you..I swear you and I have that in common but you have been so amazing. The other day I was crying, as I was working out on my elliptical and you said…
“Mommy, can I talk to you about why you are sad?” I said..yes and you asked me why I was sad and I explained that I was sad because we were moving and I would leave my friends and my family. You asked me the name of my best friend and I told you. You then told me I should write down all the names and give them to Daddy so he can call them and then I won’t be so sad. You also told me they could visit and text me. I started to laugh. Then at the end you said..” Mommy, don’t be sad because we have a pool.” And I said yes sweetie, We have a pool. I should not be sad at all. And you reminded me again that Daddy would call my best friends and have them text me. Where do you get this stuff?
You also told me the other day that you “could not do something because your brain fell out into your tummy”…you also told me the other day that “this guy was giving you a heart attack”. Where do you get this stuff? Cracks me up. Your are too smart for your own good and you always have a story for why you cannot do something when you don’t feel like it-especially saying sorry. But you are a very loving guy I just think you are going through your ALMOST 4 year old stage and this is part of you testing the boundaries.
So yes we moved officially on the 28th of August and it has been tough. You were very excited but I think the change has been a lot for you and mostly because your Dad has been out at the house daily doing stuff and we are living at a hotel and I know there is a lack of stimulation which you thrive on. But you had a great time at camp this summer for the month of August. At camp they had some chicken eggs hatch in your classroom and it was very exciting. There were over 10 chickens and they were so cute. You also went in the sprinklers every day and played with some of your best buddies. It was a great summer. You had a great time with Teacher Brenda and her son Mr Matt. I was so happy that she was there for you in the summer and we were sad to say good bye as she has loved you so much this year.
I am not sure when you started to look so grown up but all of the sudden you do. You are such a great boy and I am so lucky to have you as a son. You make me so proud in so many ways. You have endless love that you show in hugs and kisses constantly. You may be shy at first but without a doubt you will be showing your break dancing moves to that person when you feel like it. I have always needed to let you pave the way for yourself and give a shove when needed..in a gentle way but I have needed to just tell you that it is cool and you can do it and it will be fine and just to step up and well you do it..of course when you are ready..it is just your personality and stubborn as a bull-just like your mommy.
So I love you and always be who you are and I hope you love your new life as a Boca Boy and I hope you love your new Montessori school..and I hope you always reach for the stars and never stop laughing..as you think everything is funny..I love you.
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I really enjoyed being friendly with him and I do care about him as a person, but it was just too hard. I think it was right, but I miss him. I miss hearing from him and I’m doing this thing in my head where I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone else. Oh, one other important piece of information: he was my first real boyfriend (I’m in my late 20s). I had had other “situations” in the past, but never called anyone my boyfriend, nor was I considered anyone’s girlfriend. Is that why I’m having such a hard time?
I also think that this all happened because it gave me back the control. It’s essentially what I should’ve done in the spring when he started checking out of our relationship, but at the time, I was so stressed out and in the dumps that losing something else was too much for me to consider. I did the right thing, right?
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