We have continued time outs but they are not as bad as a few days ago. I think he knows I mean business. It feels good as a mom to stick to my guns and be consistent. My mom was over the other day when Max wanted a popsicle and Max knows that we have popsicles after we eat our dinner but it was before dinner and he wanted one and I said NO! Well he threw himself on the floor and was screaming and crying and kicking and my mom gave me that look..the why can’t you give it to him look!! Now some of you may think that this is because she is a grandma but now-she never said NO to me ever and still to this day I have such trouble when people  say NO-I almost think that it means they do not love me. So anyway, I am not repeating what was done in my childhood. I told my mom he would be fine and he would get over it but she still looked so upset. Tough because Max needs to know there are consistent rules in this house.

So it has been a tough lesson in the past week with Max and his new found persistent toddler behavior. Sometimes I just want to scream and pull my hair out and yes, sometimes I lose it but at the end of the day-I love my kids so much and I am so happy they are both in my life-even the annoying times. Check out these pics. Too cute, huh?

This is our typical morning. Yes, Max is making some funky face.

And then typical-happy toddler right after being funky. 

This is my little sweetie looking very cute.

Max’s new backpack!

And more tummy time for Samantha!!

Yes you heard me. He now pushes, grabs, grunts, tackles and he even bit two kids while having a play date at our house. I do not take the biting lightly and I put him right in  aTIME OUT. he did not like that at all. Actually I was so embarrassed. I said I was sorry over and over to ironically the mom of the kid who has for about 10 months pushes him around. I thought maybe it was him finally getting back at her or maybe that it was an afternoon play date but then he did it the next morning to a different kid, who luckily is tough kid. I said I was sorry and put Max in another time out. UGH. Then we went to a play date and I felt like a general because I had to watch Max so carefully to make sure  he did not do anything again. I know this is just a stage and I know I have to be consistent with my time outs so he knows I mean business. Of course he still snuggles and hugs and kisses but he is testing his boundaries in life and it just so happens that it makes me so damn tired.

I also know he is teething real bad and he is just not himself but still being aggressive is no excuse. I also know that Max is getting frustrated that he is not talking and I am hoping this frustration will push his to speak. 

After two days of that behavior and few tantrums today, I lost it. I was running on fumes because of not being able to sleep last night and I was just so tired. I yelled at Max to stop crying today after I had handles 3 tantrums already. One tantrum happened in a parking lot, another happened at his gym class and then another in the parking lot. UGH. Finally we got to the car and I screamed when I was driving and was trying to get out of his car seat. What a scene. I hate it when I lose it but I also by this time, meaning being a mom for 26 months, I know that I am human and not to beat myself up.

Geez being a mom can be tough and I am sure being a kid is tough as well.

My dearest Max,

Well another month has gone by in your life and as always so much has happened. You still live life to the fullest. YOu still are very sweet BUT this month you are starting to show some of your 2 year old attitude. You have started to push when you are not getting your way with another kid or grab their shirt or growl or tackle. Luckily you do not do these all at once and luckily you do not act like this all of the time. I have seen this a handful of times so far this month at play dates where the kids are a little older than you. I also wonder if you are frustrated since you do not talk and maybe this is your way of communicating. Regardless, Momma is not putting up with it. LOL. For such a long time you were the kid that cried when somebody did it to you but now you are trying to figure out how to handle life with other kids. I have to threaten a TIME OUT and usually after that you calm down or we just leave. I am hoping this is a phase but if not, well we will deal with it.

You are still such an awesome big brother. You have fed Samantha with a bottle, bathes her, given her a binky, held her, kissed her and loved her so much. She looks at you with such loving eyes and watches you play constantly. I know you guys will have fun together one day. You also like to play in her crib-GOD knows why since you hated your own. 

Daddy and you now sleep in the same bed during the night. He also puts you to sleep and it is awfully cute. You both have a special routine and I love watching you guys get closer and closer. You can also say Da DA now but you will never say it when I ask you to..which is so you.

You are still a good eater except when you are teething. You love burgers and so I make you little lamb burgers and you like to sit on the counter and eat them right after they are done cooking, You love egg yolks, spinach cakes, fruit especially bananas, cantaloupe, watermelon and you love rice. 

You pretend constantly that you are a dog and you actually like to throw your snacks on the floor and eat them up. OH boy! This was a game we started when we were in Florida and now I regret it. Hahaha. But you are a very cute dog.

Max, I love you and I am so thankful that I am your momma. I hope you know that you are my world.

Love,  Your Mom

So things are getting better with Samantha and breast feeding. A few things have happened. I let go. I also have learned how to pull her away from the boob, sit her up and then try again. Sometimes she just plain does not want to work for her milk. She just wants a bottle. There are other times where she is totally happy at the boob and practically jumps when she sees it coming her way. Also sometimes she nurses for a while but wants to finish with a bottle because she is tired. Regardless Mom and Baby are finding a way that works for us. I pump in the middle of the night and the morning and then in the afternoon and then after she goes to sleep. I am able to do about 80% breast milk and the rest supplementation. I am hoping that my boobs will continue to have good milk and so if she wants to fully nurse then we can. But I do love the night bottle because she sleeps and she gets a full 5 ounces between 4 pm and  5 pm and then another 4 ounces before bed time. She really starts to cluster feed. I guess she knows that she is going to sleep soon. She only wakes up once or not at all during the night which is amazing for a 9 week old and she has been doing this since she was a month old. She is truly amazing. I also put her to sleep wide awake. OH GOD gave me a sleeper. Thank you!!

I am having a lactation consultant come on Friday just to observe and give me some tips.

I went to a play date the other day and was so nervous for my friends to see me with a bottle (no offense to anyone that bottle feeds but breast feeding was such an important thing for me) but I found out that so many people had issues for so many different reasons. I was happy to find out that I was not alone. I am planning to try and keep this up for as long as I can and give Samantha what is best for her. As she gets older she is nursing better and better.

I also have been cleaning up my diet. See I am intolerant to wheat, gluten, dairy and most starches and it seems she is too. She is just like me and just like Max. I produce adorable allergy kids. Sam was breaking out in rashes because I was having a tough time keeping my diet clean. See I EAT when I am stressed and since she was 3 weeks old and life started again, I have felt stressed. So I was eating some of the oat cookies and muffins I make Scott and she was not doing well and well, vacation (chocolate, bread, cake, candy etc). So I am trying to get back. Does anybody want to do a 30 day get things back into shape with me for the Spring. We can email daily and support each other. It is not really a diet for weight but I diet for change and getting back to feeling good. 

Despite all of this life stuff, I love my kids and I love being a Mom to two. I feel like life is good. I feel like I have a wonderful life.

So I know I promised pictures of Samantha’s nursery a while ago but here they are finally. I love her room so much. It is so sweet and so pretty and so girly.

Here is her room. 

Here is a picture of her rocking chair which I did in a pink Toile.

And here is the lighting..

And here are the drapes..

So that is all for right now. 

Thankfully I am done the cold and will have more pics to post soon of my little baby in the bath and my adorable little guy. Life is good. The sun is shining and everybody in my house is napping. Yeah! Some quiet time for me. Even the dog is napping.