As I have said before, Max is not an instigator. He also is a lover and not a fighter. He plays with two kids pretty regularly that are pushers and hitters and throwers. I used to feel pretty clear about this subject. I used to feel that Max should not be around those kids who hit and push. Why should he need to defend himself at the age of 2 or earlier? Why should he have to be on the aggressive side of life? I had even needed to have a talk with one of the moms at one time because she and I were and are good friends and I told that her that I was not comfortable Max playing till she had the hitting under control. And the hitting got under control after a month and then ended up coming back again. She just had a baby and so I don’t think it is the time to say anything because she is stressed enough with her ALPHA Kid. 

Today Max played with this little boy and when he got hit, he hit back. When the boy threw something at him, he threw back and when the boy pushed, he pushed back. I am no unclear because I do believe that Max should know how to defend himself in life and that I should not avoid kids unless he says he wants to leave etc but still-my kid never does this unless he around a kid that is doing it to him.

So I am confused. It is only these two kids-and I adore both of these kids but I also feel like they are kids that need constant supervision or my kid gets clobbered. I don’t think there is any easy answer and it is hard to figure out what is right when Max is not very verbal. I guess I will have to continue to ask myself this question until I figure it out or Max lets me know.

Any thoughts?

I knew it was going to happen-the day where Max just was having one of those days. maybe it is the teeth-maybe he did not sleep enough but it was all down hill after nap time. I of course was feeling like the best mom in the world and then he woke up from his nap and the tears started. First he wanted to be picked up and I was holding Samantha (make mental note that I should leave sam in the swing when I go and get Max from his nap) because I had to tell him that I would pick him up at the stairs so I could bend down etc but that did not go well. The tears rolled down and the tantrum started. I tried to console him but he wanted no parts of me and so I took a deep breath and left him alone. I put Sam in the swing and tried to go back upstairs to console him. It did not work. He got more pissed off. After 45 minutes of crying, screaming and being pissed off, I started to get pissed off and I started to say things like, Momma is going! And does Max want to stay here alone or does he want to stop crying and come? And Come on Max, no crying..enough!

I know it does not sound like anything but inside of me, I felt like I wanted to punish him for acting that way he was. I was cold in my voice. I was frustrated and upset. I felt helpless. I was tired but knew that we needed a change of scenery. So we packed up a crying toddler and a baby and went to get french fries. The minute we got outside, the tears stopped. I said I was sorry in the car and we headed out for the afternoon. 

We got fries since Max barely eats when he is teething and then we headed to our favorite play room called the Little Treehouse, which is full of wooden toys and an area to chat with other moms and just let go. Thank GOD for this place and it is 8 minutes away and open all day.

So I called the husband to vent and to tell somebody about how awful I sounded to Max. He of course understood and reminded me that I had a baby only 2 1/2 weeks ago and that I still am not fully myself and I have limited patience. OH YEAH! Thanks for the reminder.

So then later that night, the hubby and I had a great idea to eat some chocolate that was given to us for the holiday. I knew I had just nursed Sam and she was asleep and so I thought that after 4 hours she would wake and there would be limited chocolate in my system-NOPE!! She woke up an hour later and wanted to nurse and then she was UP! She was crying and could not get comfortable. Her tummy sounded like and engine that was dying. She was up till 11 pm. BUT then she sleep till 5:30 am so at least I am not dying of lack of sleep but last night as she was crying, so was I. 

I think I am doing great but this first 3 months is just plain hard. I feel hormonal and hungry all of the time. I have actually gained 2 pounds since the birth because I am eating constantly because of nursing and I think also just feeling frantic. It is hard. I know it will pass and I know that I am probably trying to do too much but it is not the same with 2, Max still needs to live his Toddler life. So this is my sorry to Max for Mommy yelling and to Sam for a night full of chocolate and bad tummy aches.

I think my kids were abducted by aliens last night. Last night both my kids slept through the whole night. It is the first time in 2 years that Max has ever done that and well, for a 2 week old baby, Samantha mazed me as well. I have been lucky with Samantha’s sleep and I think it is one of the reasons that I feel so good-because I am getting at least 6 hours a night. The trick is that I do not put Sam down until I am ready to go to sleep and so I am able to get a good 3 to 4 hours and then I good another 3 to 4 hours later in the night. I feel fortunate for this and I am lucky that my friend told me about the TRICK. But we will see and I say this because with any child-their schedule changes daily.

As for Max, I am hoping that his schedule for sleep is changing as well. He has always slept with somebody but since his Dad is the one tending to him at night, he often goes in and settles him back to sleep and then leaves the room, so maybe Max is learning how to sleep on his own. But as I have said before, we will see.

Having two kids is awesome and tough. I think I a adjusting pretty well but timing is everything. I feel like I am timing things all day-when to dress Max, when to dress Sam, when to feed Max, when to feed Sam, how long it will take to get there, how long Max will nap etc. I feel like I am playing musical chairs but it is all good. Yes, I feel a little frantic and on edge but I also think it is hormonal and due to lack of sleep. I feel like adrenaline just takes over. I am trying to just stay in the moment and take care of myself and the kids as best I can. I have also realized that sometimes one kid or both kids are gonna cry and it just is what it is. Scott has stepped up in so many ways and I am so thankful for him. He now puts Max to bed and tends to him at night while I take care of Sam but no matter what, Max is still getting the love and attention he needs from me. 

My dearest boy Max,

You are officially 2 years old today. Even though we have celebrated your birthday a few times: one at Little Gym, one with your great grandparents and one with your friends yesterday, we will of course light candles and sing today. You are such a good boy. You are still one of the sweetest boys I know. You still do not hit or throw but you occasionally push if somebody is not moving fast enough for you.

So much has changed this month. You became a big brother and you have been amazing. There was no acting out or crying or being anything different than just a toddler who is teething. You love to kiss your sister and you love to make sure she has enough blankets. You have made us so proud. The big change is that daddy now sleeps with you and I think it is so sweet that you guys are spending some real special time with each other.

You still love life and you have the greatest laugh. You still love Curious George, Toy Story, and Shrek are the new favorites. You still go to Little Gym every Monday and I just signed you up for another gym class for Friday am. You are a great at sharing and you still are such a lover. You like to cuddle, hug and give kisses-but only when you want to.

I am amazed whenever we play with other kids how unique you are because you are so kind to other kids. You are very level headed. If you want a toy that another kid is playing with, you will actually get another toy and try to exchange with the kid. You are so funny when you do this and of course, in the business world, this makes complete sense.

You have tons of love in your life and you are so secure in your body and mind. As I said to you many times, there is so much love in our hearts for you and we welcome watching you daily change and become more of a little person in the world. Embrace life as you always do and believe in yourself as we believe in you.

Happy Birthday sweet muffin. Momma and Daddy love you and will always love you.

xo

Love, Your Momma