My apology to you Max!

My dearest Max,

I am sorry that today I have no patience. I know you are teething. I know you are in pain. I know you are tired even though you slept for 11 hours. I know all of these things but still I let my impatience get the best of me. I know you are just a little guy that cannot express his needs clearly. As we were driving to class this morning at 9:30 am, you almost feel asleep and I had to open all the windows and shake your feet but still you wanted to close your eyes. I thought you would be fine at class but I should have realized you were not feeling good.

We had to leave class in the middle because you wanted to play with another kids hoola-hoop and not your own and you threw yourself down on the floor screaming. We left the room and you pointed to the door to leave. I put your shoes on and you were off to the elevator to push the button. I did not have my shoes on and the elevator came and you stepped in by yourself. When I got to the elevator I was so worried and scared that I yelled and grabbed your hand and said, ” No Max go alone in elevator. Only with Mommy.” I was still so angry with you. I was not gentle when I picked you up. I carried you to the car with your body straight in anger and frustration. We got in the car and I had to breathe. I had to regroup. I gave you a bottle and your binky and you still cried with snot pouring out of your nose. I wiped your nose and started driving. I called your Daddy and tears rolled down my face. I felt overwhelmed. I am not sure why. I felt sad and angry at the same time.

I should have known when you woke up this morning and were not your usual happy self. I am sorry for letting my grown up plan for our day get in the way of you just wanting to be at home watching TV and probably snuggling and drinking lots of bottles and sucking on your binky.

Even when your momma gets upset, I always love you and I will always say I AM SORRY when I am in the wrong.

Love,

Your Momma