Lately my adorable toddler has been testing the boundaries. I knew this time would come since he is about 21 1/2 months old. He loves to pull our dogs tails lately, stand on chairs, climb things that he should not and do all those fun things that he knows he should not do. I have to say that I am not a strict mom. I watch a lot of other moms who are very strict with rules and regulations. But I also want my child to know that there are rules and that he does not run the show.
I have been noticing that he does not listen to me all of the time. Yes I know he is a December Sagittarius Baby and he is all FIRE like his mom and dad but hey this Aries mom is putting her foot down. All the books I have read says to keep a low voice and talk to your kid and explain that the behavior is not working but that is not working here. I have a spirited and energetic kid who is like me…very strong willed. So I have started to change the tone in my voice when I am telling him that he should not do something but I feel guilty. I also put him in a time out the other day for pulling Esther’s tail after I said NO. I know this must be a common feeling for some women. See we had no rules. We did whatever and I always got my way. And I don’t want that for Max or for us as parents.
Since we had no rules I always felt nervous as a child and that anxiety carried with me into adulthood. I want to do my best to not give that to my children. No matter what we will do our best as parents and our kids will turn out how they turn out.
Do you ever feel guilt when you discipline your child and how do you discipline?
Eva says:
No, I don’t feel guilt. She needs to learn to act in society.
I do feel bad the handful of times I have lost my temper.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Sara says:
I do time-outs as a last resort, so I don’t feel too guilty. My DS seems to respond well to me when I talk to him and is quick to calm a lot of the time.
I get down to his level, make eye contact, and depending on what type of behavior I’m reacting to I may hold his arms by the wrists and use a deep stern voice, or I might use a sympathetic voice if I’m trying to let him know that I understand that he _wants_ the toy. I encourage him to use his words. That last one is surprisingly effective and he’ll use a combo of words and sign language to try and express himself.
I tend to feel guilty only when I’m in a really bad mood and I’m more short-tempered or unwilling to deal with his behavior. I always hate it when I’m out of energy (sick with PMS, for example) and put him into the stroller while he’s screaming rather than try to work it out with him.
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:22 pm
christy says:
I usually don’t feel bad, except when I yell (which seems to be happening more and more). But sometimes Porgie just pushes me too far.
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:30 pm
C says:
I feel guilty when I yell in frustration… like this morning (one of those mornings when everyone is grumpy). I try to save yelling for dangerous situations when she HAS to listen. Time out works (she has been putting herself in time out lately) and calmly counting to 3 with clear consequences communicated has been the most successful.
Hang in there! You’re doing great and he’s lucky to have you!!
October 5th, 2008 at 9:29 am
Jenn Tarver says:
Hang in there. You’re doing the right thing…and I didn’t comment on your previous post because I’m just now reading it… but GOOD for you on your parenting vs. the lack of parenting you had.
October 6th, 2008 at 9:56 am
chelle says:
Discipline in our house is immediate. I ask once then if I am ignored I gently sit down with the child and wait. Wait for them to quieten down, settle, then I ask then to try again, to follow through with what I have asked. If I ask more than once they start to tune me out. Which is more frustrating for everyone!
October 8th, 2008 at 11:47 am