I think I am a good Mom but I think I have my days where I just have no patience and today was one of them. Let me start by saying that Max has been a cranky kid, who is not sleeping well, and teething for over a week now. I am just having a rough time with the tantrums. I feel like anytime he does not get his way, he goes into a full blown tantrum on the floor and tears flying off his face. I try and stay patient. I do try but by 7 pm tonight, I was actually saying to the kid.. NOW COME ON MAX! ENOUGH. MOMMA LOVES YOU BUT ENOUGH.

I felt so guilty and horrible. And let me also say that I am not perfect and there are other times when I loose my ability to see love but tonight I just felt so bad. He clearly feels like crap but I also know that he is almost 20 months and he is just testing the limits with everything.

He wants what he wants when he wants it. I would let him have it all but that just makes a spoiled brat and I do not want to raise a spoiled brat that walks all over me. So when he gets pissed and tantrUms, I try and say something like..I AM SURE YOU ARE FRUSTRATED THAT YOU CANNOT GET WHAT YOU WANT AND IT MUST MAKE YOU UPSET BUT I KNOW YOU WILL WORK THROUGH IT AND MOMMA IS HERE IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. And then he continues to throw himself on the floor until he gets over it unless he is teething or tired…JUST MY LUCK HE IS BOTH THIS WEEK.

Anyway, any suggestions or is this just part of him growing up?

This picture of the 19 week baby belly was taken down the shore. You can also see Esther the Super Pug relaxing in her favorite travel dog bed. I was actually baking muffins that morning since it was foggy still and kind of raining but by 12 pm, it was so nice and sunny. We were so lucky with the weather.

Anyway, about the belly. I have started to feel this little girl kick. I was worried because with max, I felt him kick pretty early. The nice woman at the ultrasound said the little girl in my belly was in a position that made it so I could not feel until she was bigger. So I stopped thinking about it and now I can feel some kind of kick in the lower part of my belly. I love feeling the baby inside moving around. Max was a pretty active kid and he is still that same way.

Did I mention that she was on my bladder for two weeks. If you saw a pregger girl running or walking and then darting off into the woods to pee, well that was me. I would work out while we were at the beach and I would have to stop every 1/2 mile to pee. It was horrible and did not feel so good but I am sure it will only get worse. 

I am feeling pretty good these days despite a teething kid that is not sleeping too well and a momma that needs more sleep because of a teething kid but all in all, life is good. I am counting down the days until we go back to the beach.

Well we had such a good time but like I said yesterday it is so hard for me to come back to reality. I think by Thursday I started to feel anxious about going home. I tried to ignore the feelings and then found myself a little irritated and bitchy-but not for too long. It is hard adjusting back to life. It was so nice being together all day, laughing and eating and just enjoying the beach life. I fell back in love with the hubby and Max was adorable-he is truly our child-a beach kid at heart. Even as young as 3 months old, we took Max to naples Florida and we would go to the beach at 10 am and leave at 4 pm. Max would nurse, sleep, play and nurse, sleep and play. It was great and still Max does the same. He ate on the beach and slept in his stroller and played.

We were all very sad to come home but we are going to extend our trip in September for two weeks instead of one. I feel so lucky that we can go back and stay for a while. It truly does recharge us since my hubby is often out at night for work. I said before-he works from home but often he has meetings after 7/8 pm, when the normal world gets home from work. So it was nice just being together at the beach and not having any meetings to interrupt our time together. Max got so attached to Scott and I think Scott realized how important spending time with him is because even the last few days have been different than before our vacation. Scott is spending more time with Max before he leaves for his evening meeting. It is really nice to see that vacation has extended beyond home.

Well we are back and it was wonderful. I actually was sad to come home. I have a real tough time getting back and adjusting to life. I think I just miss the family being together, like the way we are on vacation.

I figured that I would post a picture or video each day since we had such a good time. This post has to do with the food, but especially Max’s new love: BURGERS. Max stopped eating hot dogs a few weeks ago (nitrate free ones from Whole Foods) and since then we have struggled to find a good protein. He would eat turkey, chicken and beef so it has been hard finding the substitute. Keep in mind that Max loves yogurt but he is allergic to dairy and he is kind of picky when it comes to protein and so it is not easy. So here it is-Max loving his burger.

Every other day he would eat a burger but he was so funny about it- he would only eat the burger if it was cut in half and if it was still in good shape..the moment that the burger began to fall out of the bread-well he wanted the other half. The funny part about this whole video is that he is so busy watching the cars go by. We stayed in a part of the island called Harvey Cedars and so we could push the stroller to the nearby burger joint/market. So enjoy the video and there will be more to come.

Dear Max:

Wow! It has been such a huge month for you. I know I have said that on other months but this month has really been about your self esteem and your personality. You have stepped out from behind the door and you are saying: THIS IS ME WORLD! I feel like you are such a big boy now. 

For 19 months you have been quiet around strangers or not comfortable in situations but now it is different. At music and lIttle Gym, you are one of the first kids to go up to the teacher and participate. You are so proud of yourself and you make this smirk because you are so happy and shy at the same time. You are such a humble little man. 

You are still such a sweet and sensitive guy. No matter how much you get hit or your hair pulled, you do not push or pull back. You just look at the kid like they are crazy and then you look at me. I think Esther the Super Pug has helped you to learn how to treat people and animals.

This month you are also putting your face in the water in the tub and you kick your legs as well. You love the water and we swim at the toddler pool as well as your little friends Tyler’s pool down the street.

You now laugh at everything. You watch TV and movies and laugh at the funny parts. You also laugh at yourself quite often or if Daddy does something funny. I see your personality come through more and more. You are a very special kid.

Still your hat is your favorite clothing. You refuse to go out in the sun  without it and now you own about 4 hats but your favorite hat in the Philadelphia Zoo hat. You also enjoy wearing sun glasses. It must be your sensitive green eyes. You are adorable and I could just eat you up daily..oh but wait I do.

You are the love of my life and you always will be. I am so honored to be your mother and I am so lucky because you are such an angel. I will always think of that first night alone with you and how you slept in my arms in the hospital. It was love at first sight. Thanks Maxie!!