I sat and rocked Mister Max to sleep and realized these moments do not last forever and then I took a long deep breath and pulled Max closer into my chest.

Good NIght!

I have just been feeling blah again. I am feelng overwhlemed again and nervous. I am worrying about stuff that I am sure will never even happen. The last week I have been so tired I could not even find it in me to post but today I just feel sad. I think every time around the holiday’s I think about my father who has been MIA for some time now but it still hurts. I found myself crying twice today and once was when Max did not want to nap. I just feel like I cannot get my head above water. And lets talk about sleep: well sleep has gone down hill. As Moxie so beautifully said it, The 12 Month Old Sleep Regression. So I am not sleeping, I am tired, fussy, feeling lonlely in a big house and I want to cry and scream at the same time.

Of course I feel that Max is going to be in therapy in a year because I am feeling this way. And of course I feel like I shoudl not have another child because I am a bad Mom. I also feel like I don’t know what Max wants anymore..yada, yada, yada and you can only imagine because it won’t stop. Why am I beating myself up? Why can’t I stop and appreciate?

Please other Mommies..tell me if you ever go through this or am I just crazy??