Everywhere we go people say..”Oh what a happy baby.” We went to Arrowroot, a health food store in Brywn Mawr and they said happy baby. We went to Food Source, an over priced food market and they said happy baby. Then we went to the Gap Kids in Ardmore to return some clothes (and yes I could not resist and bought Max more army camo gear) and they said happy baby.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that despite the fact that I am so tough on myself and at times think I am not the best mom..people must see it in his eyes that he is loved by a pretty good mom.
I have just been having on of those weeks where nothing is wrong but in my head..everything feels wrong. Where is the gratitude?
I also have been feeling huge. The weight has not come off anymore and actually, I think I even gained a pound or two from my last post partum update. I am 7 to 8 pounds from my normal weight and it is really tough for me. I know..many would say..boo hoo, poor me but it is hard not to see myself a certain way. I know I am breast feeding and so my body will hold onto 5 pounds no matter what I try and do but it is still hard. I would love to just accept and not judge myself. I wish I could just give myself a break.
I was working out this morning and found myself in tears. I was crying like a little girl. It felt great but underneath was sme very old junk that does not have a place in my life right now. I guess it is time to clean out the closets.
All in all..I look at Max and my hubby and I see Love.
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