Oh my so much has happened since my ladt post. I feel like I am rushing and rushing , which may be true since I was working 10 to 5 and in meeting after meeting. I usually do not sit ikn meeting that long on Tuesday and wednesday but I did and boy, diod it make me appreciate working part time. I don’t think I would want to go back to sitting in an office (well I don’t think I ever did that) but you know what I mean. I always loved real estate because it was so flexible. I start to lose my mond if I am in one place too long. The best part of it all is that I came home and saw Max on the floor and he crawled across the room to me, I mean my BOOB. LOL. He has been doing the 4 crawl and then drop and then 4 crawl and then drop but yesterday was a good 7 or 8 crawl till he got to ME, I mean my boob.
The babysitter drama has ended but now I feel so bad because she is good with max. Now I am nervous that the new babysitter won’t be as animated or won’t be as fun or Max won’t like her or I won’t like her or we won’t like her. UGH. Faith is what I need. I need to just trust. I trusted myself through this whole thing and now I need to trust in my decision. OUCH! I hate having to say” We think it is not working out and we like you a lot and you are great with Max but we feel that this is not working anymore.” She raised her voice at my hubby the other day when the landscapers woke Max up from a nap and so he is just done with her. It makesw me sad because she is nice and I identify with a lot fo her STUFF. Father and Mother issues, body issues, power issues and a whole bunch of other muck but I don’t need that in my house TODAY. I do notice that I am scared to have a banysitter in my house who is not screwed up. Interesting. I don’t feel that I am not enough..I just feel more comfortable aroun\d somebody that is clearly messed up and of course, I want to save her (Oh thanks to my Father for this characteristic in myself) HEHE but it is not my job and she will be ok. I know I have to be clean about letting her go for my own growth and power. Ouch, why can’t I just run and let Scott do it? Oh yeah, because I am a grown up. YUK!
So lastly, yes he is crawling and now I really need to baby proof this house.
As for anything else, life is good.
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