Sometimes I look at this kid and cannot even imagine him as a newborn. Only 5 months have gone by and already it feels so long ago. Yesterday, I looked at pictures of Max when he was first born and I started to cry. I started to remember when I first saw him. When I first kissed him. When I first nursed him. I remember that first night in the hospital when it was just the two of us. I said, “hey kid, it is just us now. Mommy loves you so much. I am here.”
Over the past few weeks, I have been struggling to find balance. Last week I was working at every moment he was sleeping and it just got me nutty. I started to get frustrated, irritated and just plain upset. Luckily, I stopped this before it got bad. I took a walk and examined my life. I took a breath and realized that the stress was just coming from me. Yes, I did have a ton of work but I cannot put on the Superwoman cape and then hit a brick wall. This time, I saw it coming and stop[ped it before it happened. Now that is amazing. I am very proud of myself.
I am learning to stop and look around and just get out of my head. Having Max has helped this, control freak: ME, let go. I have said this before but it keeps happening because I allow it to happen.
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