can this baby get any cuter?

Originally uploaded by Maxsmom

First of all, I am doing much better today. After talking with my friend, Andrea, I am looking at tomorrow and not today. It is tough. I was working on Tuesday, in a very long meeting, and I started to feel overwhelmed and then I came home and this feeling only got worse.

I was worrying about the new house, work, money, our future, my weight..oh and the list goes on and on. But today, I slowed down. I realized that it will all get done. It will all work out. It always does and it always has.

Thank goodness for friends and thank goodness for this blog. I never feel alone. I can always read another blog and feel connected or I can just let loose on this one.

Now for a picture of my little guy. Isn’t he too much for words? Isn’t he so YUMMY??

I love you Max!

I am having mixed feelings when it comes to baby sitters. I work about 20 hours a week and a lot of my work are phone calls and conference calls. I am finding that Max only naps about 2 hours a day and so this does not leave a lot of time for doing my work.

 Scott watches Max for 4 hours on Tuesday while I attend a meeting but I really need another day where I can buckle down and just do my work. I find that I spend a lot of my time not enjoying the now because my work is hanging over my head. I think if I just had some definite and scheduled time to get it all done then I would not feel so overwhelmed. I know that this feeling has a lot to do with my own sense of well being but my work load tends to influence this. It is not the work-it is the feeling that I cannot get it done.

Again, I am just struggling with anyone taking care of Max. It is not that I think somebody cannot do it but I don’t want him to feel abandoned. This is clearly my stuff and not his. LOL.

So I am going to get a baby sitter for a day and see how it goes. I know the majority of women in the world go through this and they just do it. I always have to remind myself that I am not super woman. I could pull it off and be crazy but who wants to be crazy??

Have you ever had a fight like this…

“Can you watch the baby for a second?”

“I just got home and I need to eat and relax.”

“Wouldn’t that be nice.”

Of course I said this under my breath and bitchy will led into another fight. We are closing on our new home on Monday and these last few details with our mortgage took a toll on both of our nerves. I was in a meeting for work on Tuesday that just had me feel so overwhelmed and then I came home and needed Scott to hold the baby and well..put it all together and it does not make for a good mix.

 Tired wife + Tired Mommy + Tired Real Estate Person = One Bitchy Woman

Bottom line is that I have a great husband who always encourages me to take some time for myself. He also takes care of the baby whenever I need him to but on  this day I just wanted to say, “What the F–CK, my job never ends, my job is be a wife, a mom, a worker, a….” because sometimes it just feels like a lot and then other times it feels like the easiest JOBS in the world.

I guess I am human.

But we made up and forgave each other.

We all survived. Max let out a little cry and then had a bunny bandage put on his little cubby leg. He is 27 1/2 inches and 17.35 pounds.

As far as the shot, I think I did not take it as well as he did. I ate a whole carob bar today, 2 spelt/dairy free cookies and barely drank any water because I was so nervous.

But all is well and he seems to be doing fine. Our amazing Dr. Daphne gave a homeopathic remedy for after his shot, Thuja

She is truly the best. We are doing a few shots since we are traveling in October to Chicago and then we are REALLY SPACING THEM OUT. I will also nurse Max for at least a year and then pump into his cereal or a sippy cup so he has all of my antibodies.

Luckily we really trust our doctor and know that she will help to guide us. As for now, I promised Max a night of constant nursing and lots of snuggles.

P.S Max got the OK to start solids in 4 days.Yeah!!

Happy Baby

Originally uploaded by Maxsmom

Picture says enough